Weigh-Ins are on MONDAYS - Updated July 3, 2017

Surgery Date: October 20, 2009:

Thursday, December 22, 2011

I am Guilty of the Overshare

 
Who me?

Yes, me.

All.the.damn.time.

The idea of being "out" with one's Lap Band is a personal choice.  I get that.  Some bandsters only tell their spouse...and that's it.  To each their own.

Me on the other hand, if someone asks how I lost the weight I will always tell them about my band.  Not a big deal or a super secret for me.  Wanna pet my port?  ha ha ha.

But lately, I've been doing a new experiment with my own self control.  I have entitled this experiment, "How long can I go without telling a person about my band?"

The reason for this experiment? From what I can tell, people honestly could care less and with most casual conversations, it usually just ends up being TMI for them.

I good friend of mine recently used this analogy with me, "I got a breast reduction ten years ago, but I don't go around telling people about it."   Hmmmm....   What do you think of this analogy?

PS: Thank you NOT SO Secret Santa for the Bed & Body Works gift card! I love to shop and can't wait to get my shopping on at their after Christmas sale.  Bargains here I come! :-)

17 comments:

  1. Well, I am not an oversharer by any stretch, as matter of fact, I have only personally told 7 people in my life about my band. I truly believe with weight loss, most people who ask about it generally want a magic bullet/pill and so as soon as I would tell them about all the things "I" do to lose weight they aren't interested anyway. I'm sure they would love to hear that I had the band because then it could excuse away how I've been able to lose 81 lbs "so easy". That's my biggest reason for not sharing about my band. With most people I would tell, it would negate all the daily trips to the gym, the tri-weekly trips to Zumba and the weight lifting I do each week. Along with not allowing all these scrumptions Christmas treats in my body these last 3 weeks. How am I doing it? With a lot of hard work and self control. Do they need to know that I have appetite control with my band too? No, because honestly then I have instantly negated everything I have worked for in their mind. I took the "easy way out".

    Sorry, I'm not even sure now if I answered your question!! Have a wonderful day darlin! *hearts*

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  2. That analogy is exactly why I haven't told many people. I have told my family and close friends, but not people at work...I never tell people at work about my medical background, so I figured why should I start now. Once I lose enough weight that people may start asking I will not lie about it, but that hasn't happened yet.

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  3. I play this game all the time. I usually don't last very long! One example, when starting work at my new job back at the beginning of summer, I told my husband I wasn't going to tell my co-workers, at least for a while. Within a week we were talking about biggest loser. I mentioned that I had tried out a few seasons ago. She told me I was no where big enough for the show. Welp, I had to whip out the pics and everything and show her that I was, in fact, big enough at one point. And from there she got all the details. This happens in different circumstances all the time. But I have a hard time keeping it to myself. I try not to share the details unless I'm asked for specifics, but I DO NOT hide the fact that I had surgery.

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  4. If they ask you how you lost your weight, why not share? I don't think the two things compare well. How many people are going to ask her how she got her smaller boobs? Well, in this day and age they might. :)

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  5. I don't hide the fact that I had weight loss surgery, but I'm not one to put it all out there (other than my blog or occasional Facebook post), because my Lap Band does not define me as a person. My greatest assomplishment in life is the birth of my daughter and I guess that defines my life as a mom, but I don't go around offering to let people see my c-section scars...LOL

    I agree with the analogy, but it really is up to the individual and their choice. You are very open about your weight loss, how you lost it and that's great. For me, I think that once people know I lost a lot of weight, they really couldn't care less how I lost it, but are just happy for me that I did...Unless, it is an overweight person I am talking to and they want more information about the band...then I'll be more than willing to share!

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  6. This is such an interesting topic. In real life, I am NOT guilty of the overshare. Online, it is a different story. However, weight loss is like a holy grail. HOW DID YOU LOSE THE WEIGHT? It's what everyone wants to know. Because everyone wants the magic pill and they want to eat crap and not exercise and STILL lose the weight, lol. Even though WLS is NOT a magic pill, it's still a pretty hot topic. I will share if the person seems interested, but I've learned that absolutely NO ONE is AS interested in my journey as I am. :-)

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  7. I don't think you're guilty of oversharing, particularly if the inquiry comes from an overweight person who may genuinely be looking for guidance. My lifelong best friend had WLS four years ago (RnY gastric bypass) and has lost an amazing 180 lbs. However, she puts a stigma on herself about the surgery, even though she has put a tremendous and awesome effort into following the dietary restrictions that come with her surgery and has become incredibly physically active and athletic -- she still thinks people "look down" on those who've had WLS...only her three or four closest friends know about the surgery outside of her family. When she is asked how she lost the weight, she says, "diet and exercise," which is not a lie but it omits a huge part of the truth...and while it's not my call and she doesn't necessarily owe anyone anything, I think she's doing a disservice to those who may be considering WLS but have fears or concerns. She was initially TERRIFIED at the prospect of surgery; it was only by speaking with successful patients her doctor referred her to that she got over that and was able to participate in a very thorough pre-surgical psychological screening, an exercise program and a pre-surgery revamp of her eating habits (she had to lose 60 lbs. on her own before they would approve her for the bypass). So perhaps someone out there is struggling with the same fear and has questions...and if she answers their "how'd you do it?" by making it sound like she took up running and stopped eating ice cream and that was all there was to it, that person may be further discouraged. I applaud you for being up front about it and I am sure others appreciate what you tell them, if it's something they are considering for themselves.

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  8. My lips are sealed! I ran into a woman at the gym today who I have seen at support group. I ignored her and acted like I didn't know her!
    I'm guilty of the under-share!

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  9. With 80 pounds lost, people ask me all of the time what I'm doing to lose weight. I always share, the entire story. Many only seem to listen to the "WLS" portion. That is their choice, but I share, and hope that I help someone.

    I don't announce it, I just tell them if they ask.

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  10. Love the food for thought. And I bet your secret santa is glad you got your present...I mean gift card!!

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  11. I've only been banded a month.. and haven't lost much (no fill yet!) but when the day comes, I am not sure what I'll do. I've hardly told anyone, only my closest friends, my spouse, and my parents. Not even my brother! But I feel like right now this is a very personal and private struggle for me and also, that my weight isn't other people's business. A few years ago I lost 85 lbs. People complimented me all the time. Although it was nice of them, it also felt.... well, they never did it when I was heavier. So while I understand, when I see people have lost weight, I say "you look great!" and leave it at that. Let them tell me if they want.. but for me, it's too personal as of yet.

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  12. Wanna pet my port??? Seems like I have heard that somewhere.........

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  13. I just put down my deposit on December 1st and am now waiting for my March 7th surgery date. I told only 12 carefully chosen people including my hubby, parents, kids, close friends and my boss since I needed to ask for the time off for surgery. I didn't even tell my sisters.

    But now I regret it - except for my parents and my kids and 1 friend...

    What happened when I told was...

    My hubby wants to now do the liquid pre op with me - YES!!! that's what I need 2 people in the house starving and miserable - this kids will LOVE that!!! and Im sure he will lose much more weight than me on it and tell me how easy it is - I know he is trying to help and yes I know he 'needed' to know about the surgery since its his bank account thats paying for it... LOL ;P

    Then I tell my closest friend in the whole WORLD!!!

    She discouraged me to get the band before when I was researching it (even though I've been fat my entire life and she has known me for more than 1/2 of it and has seen me struggle) and when I called her to tell her about putting down the deposit and setting my surgery date she said "well isn't that good for you - I'll keep busting my ass at the gym to get off my extra pounds." I was floored - I NEVER expected that! REALLY does she actually believe that Im taking the EASY way out???? Is she comparing my 150 'extra pounds to her 10??? Im a f*^&en cheerleader for all her plans no matter what I think and this is what she says to me when I tell her my 4th most important news of my life!!! I know she's telling her friends who will then play broken telephone with my life!

    Then last but not least - I told my boss - I could have lied about it - told her my grandfather was dying - he's died a long time ago and would not mind Im sure... But Im a bad liar so I told her now Im worried about her telling everyone I work with - and they wont be allowed to say that they know - I'll be off for 10 days after my surgery - alot of gossiping can be done in 10 days - when I return they will be watching me - I don't want to be watched - MONITORED - if I don't lose quick enough or if I eat a chocolate- I don't need more judges - I have enough anti fat judges now.

    So that has been my experience so far with telling people!

    I thought I chose my people carefully and I was hoping to keep it semi private - at least for now - Im usually a super chatty person and will talk about almost everything freely but I feel like this event is giant step and a very personal one and it felt wrong not to share it with some people but also felt wrong to tell everyone but now Im a bit sensitive that the info is out there at all. I cant control what others do. I guess its the risk you take when you decide to tell people.

    Maybe its because Im still letting this sink in - it's still a big deal - I hope after I've been banded a while I'll want to shout it from the roof tops and feel comfortable enough to have someone 'pet my port' :)

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  14. I'm totally guilty of the overshare too. To each their own, I guess. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!
    Christine
    www.phoenixrevolution.net

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  15. Hmm... Well I had a breast reduction in 2003 and I told everyone about it. I remember telling you too :) I still tell people occasionally, but it usually doesn't come up unless someone comments on their current size (kinda big again.) But with this lap band process I am not feeling as open as I was with the BR. I told my Mom and my best friend after I went to the orientation and I didn't tell my sister until Thanksgiving. I am not sure if I will even tell my work yet. I might though :)

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  16. So...my opinion on the breast reduction analogy: how many people have gone up to your friend and said "wow! your boobs sure are a lot smaller now than they were a year a go. How did you do it?" Yet, people seem to have no problem asking us why our butts are suddenly smaller. If someone asked her, what would she say?

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