Weigh-Ins are on MONDAYS - Updated July 3, 2017

Surgery Date: October 20, 2009:

Friday, June 29, 2012

Weigh-in Day & a Blog Vay-cay

I've given up that reedonkulous pipe dream that was my 135 lbs goal weight. 

Yep.  Not sure what I was smokin' when I thought up that cuh-razy idea.

It's just not realistic for me.  If I stopped working out, I could totally get there, but that would be muscle loss.  No thanks, I'll pass on that.  I'm stickin' with my goal weight of 145 lbs that I've been rockin' since December of 2010.

I also totally forgot how at about the 139/140-ish lb mark, the "ta-ta's" noticably get SMALLER

Let me tell ya how super fun it is when I'm jumpin' up and down at Jazzercise and one of my girls escapes DOWN and OUT from under my size SMALL Target sports bra. Yep, that was what went down at Wednesday night's class. Watch me run to the ladies room to fix that.  

This past week, I did learn that I was eating too few calories in previous weeks. I upped my calories by approximately 200 and voila! The scale did go down a little.

Anyways, without further delay:

Last week's weight: 140.8 lbs

Today's weight: 139.4 lbs

Look, I made you a pretty maintenance graph. 

Lastly, I will be taking a week long blogging vay-cay. 

Sometimes this girl just needs to step away from the computer for awhile.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Are You Bulimic?

"No." I responded.

"Hmmm...you have a lot of enamel erosion on your front teeth...are you sure you're not vomiting a lot?" the dental hygenist asked.

"Yes, I'm sure." I said.

"Do you suck on lemons or have acid reflux?" She asked.

"Nope, neither" I said.

She has a look on her face like she didn't believe me.

I welcome you to the conversation that started off my recent dentist appointment.

After the excitement that was my teeth getting cleaned, the dentist came into the room. I opened my mouth wide for her to do the annual exam.

Now it was her turn to ask:

"Are you bulimic?" She questioned.

"No, I'm not.  You guys are kinda freaking me out now.  Are my teeth really that bad?  You just saw me about a year ago and there was no mention of this.  What do you think could be causing the enamel erosion?" I asked.

She rambles off all kinds of things...acid reflux, rinsing my mouth with vinegar (ewww...who does that?), chewing on lemons/limes, excessive vomitting, etc.

WTF. I don't do/have ANY of those things. I thought quietly in my head.

Then I thought about what is something that is pretty much ALWAYS in my mouth and with me pretty much 24/7.

Sugar-free drinks!

It's no secret that I am a Powerade Zero and Crystal Light junkie.

I have six to eight packets of that powdered stuff and two 32 oz Powerades Zeroes EVERY DAY.

And what is the main ingredient (other than water) in all of those beverages?

CITRIC ACID.

Damn.

I asked the dentist whether she thought it could be the citric acid and she said she wasn't sure, but that could maybe be the cause. Thank you Dr. Helpful.

So I left the dentist office with my prescription flouride toothpaste, drove home, and immediately Googled the crap outta the topic of "Dental erosion and Crystal Light." 

And guess what?  This topic is ALL OVER the interwebs. 

I even found bunches of forum posts on LapBandTalk.com and Obesityhelp.com about others who have had the same issues with sugar free beverages rotting their teeth.

I went to my kitchen cupboards and started reading the labels on my Propel, Crystal Light, and beloved Powerade Zero: citric acid....EVERYWHERE.

So, guess what I've been drinking for about four days now?  Yep, plain water.

And let me tell ya, detoxing off of those sugar free drinks is NO JOKE.  The headaches remind me of when I gave up coffee for awhile. Craptastic. I've been pretty grouchy too.

But I still wonder...could I have severe acid reflux (enough to rot my teeth) and not even know it?

If you work in the dental field, please let me know your thoughts on excessive amounts of citric acid from sugar free drinks.  Pretty please?

Monday, June 25, 2012

I Feel the Need. The Need For Speed.

Ever since I was a teenager I  can always remember always saying, "When I lose the weight, I'm gonna go skydiving."

I would make plans in my head about when that day would be.

I would think about how much fun it would be.

What a rush it would be!

Well, yes.

It happened.

Finally.

I went skydiving last weekend.

Before heading to the airport, we stopped off for a Mexican lunch.  Everyone enjoyed large yummy platters of chimichangas and XL burritos and rice and beans.... and other tasty foods that I totally wanted too.  But I had a chicken taco with no sides of anything yummy. I couldn't help and wonder quietly in my head as we were eating, would all that food stay down in our bellies with a jump out of an airplane?

Anywhoozle, onwards to the airport!
Who needs luck?
After signing our lives away via a six page liability waiver, we geared up for the big show.  

We picked out really awesome flying squirrel outfits.  I chose this get-up.  It was either a patriotic extravaganza or a circa 1986 fluorescent yellow with purple accents. I felt like it was a safe bet.
Meet Dave.
He was my BFF for the next hour.
Wait, what does your shirt say about hesitation?
So, what your saying is that we're
going to jump out of an airplane?


Cheezy wave!
Heavin' my ass up into the plane.
Not the most reassuring or comforting of signs.
Off into the sky. Can you see me waving?
This is my totally freaked out on-the-inside face.
I'm going to pretend that I'm not about to sh*t my pants, so I'll just smile.
I am going to stop the photo montage right here for a minute.

How I was feeling as we took off and made our way to 10,000 feet up could be summed up in one word: ANXIETY.  

Extreme anxiety.  Almost dream like too.  

I kept thinking: "Is this really about to happen?" and "Am I really in a teeny tiny airplane over BFE Oregon about to jump out of an airplane?"

I have only felt this extreme level of anxiety once before in my entire life.  

That would be October 20, 2009 at about 6am.  

Yep, that was the morning of my Lap-Band surgery. Multiple nurses tried and couldn't get the IV for the happy/relax meds started before I got wheeled down to the operating room.  

SO i took that ride fully awake and aware. I can vividly remember that long ride down the hallways and then being put onto the O.R. table.

To this day, I'm still kickin' myself for not documenting my surgery day experience like many of you have done.

Anywhoozle, it was time for me, Dave, and my chicken taco to JUMP!
Shar Pei doggy face.  Bugs gettin' caught up in my teeth.  Close your mouth!
Effin' AMAZING! So fun!
Pullin' the cord for the parachute!
Dave let me drive.  A very smart man.
A soft landing in a grassy field.
We survived.
Chicken taco stayed DOWN, yet hair is now UP.
It was so quick.

Over before it practically began.

But so very fun.

I am so happy that I did it and had the opportunity.

Would I do it again?

Perhaps.

It was $260 for the experience. For that price, the amount of fun was LARGE, yet very, very short.  That's A LOT of money to spend for such a quick experience. I can easily swing an entire weekend in Vegas for that kind of money.

One last thing about adrenaline.

You know, adrenaline...that hormone that one gets a lot of from an extreme experience?  It's released when in a "fight or flight" situation.

Adrenaline makes you DAMN hungry.

Just two hours after eating huge Mexican meals, everyone in the group was STARVING. Me included.  And with my band at it's current level of restriction perfection. Crazy indeed!

Watch out for that adrenaline, it sneaks up on ya.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Weigh-in Day...

Since last weigh-in:
  • I tracked/ate about 1100-1200 calories and 70+ proteins each day this week.
  • I worked out (the kind of exercise where I sweat buckets, am huffy-puffy-out-of-breath, lift weights/squats/etc) for 300 minutes total for the week.
The result?

Pretty much a 'maintenance' result on the scale.  Which is great. Don't get me wrong.

Last week's weight: 141.0 lbs

This week's weight: 140.8 lbs

But I am still wondering about my new goal weight of 135 lbs and whether this is realistic for me?

Am I eating too little amount of calories?

I will aim for 1300-1400 calories each day this week and see if this shakes things up a bit on the scale.

Happy Friday!

Thursday, June 21, 2012

My Lap-Band Speaks Up More Often Than...

...I do in meetings.

Yep, let me set the scene for ya:

Imagine that I'm sitting in a conference room at work at a table full of people who  laughingly  consider themselves big fishes  in a very small pond.

I'm sitting there and we're discussing current business matters at hand.  A.K.A. Playing Meeting B-I-N-G-O in my head.

I'm sipping my water quietly.

Then there's a pause in the discussion.

This is my band's cue. 

"Gurgle."

"Gurgle...gurgle."

It's loud enough that everyone at the table turns to look my way. 

I'm not sure if these fishes know that I have a Lap-Band.  So do they think that I just passed gas? burped? I could care less what they think.

I've actually started saying, "excuse me" on occasion or I'll just smile back at them.

Now THAT's something they never tell ya in your pre-op classes or the weight loss surgery informational seminar.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Gall Bladder Ultrasound

Lucky me.

I got to get up at o' dark thirty, arrive at the hospital at 6:30 AM, change into an oh-so-fashionable gown, and have warm blue gel spread all over my belly.

The last time that I was at the hospital that early was on October 20, 2009 for my Lap-Band surgery.

Good times.

The ultrasound tech guy almost didn't let me take any pics. What a meanie.
My fingers and eyes are crossed that all that this ultrasound will reveal is that I should eat less Dairy Queen and more vegetables. 

Welcome to the Land of Denial. Party of 1.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

More Confused Than a Chameleon in a Bag of Skittles

Rant alert!

For the first time in almost three years...

...the scale is TOTALLY and COMPLETELY confusing me.

I weigh every morning because I am a scale whore.

Daily weighing works for me because I personally know how much damage I can do very fast if I don't see a number on that scale each morning. 

It's my "stop sign" that tells me, "Whoa there girly, all those nachos and cookies that you've been eating these past three days are starting to show, so quit that already." 

I've told ya before and I'll tell ya again: I can easily gain one pound a day with the Lap-Band.

I need that accountability of that daily scale visit.

When I was in my losing phase in 2009-2010: 14 months of strict measuring of my food, staying under 1200 calories each day, exercising like cuh-razy, etc, I would lose weight each week.

Now when I go back to those hard-core behaviors, like I've been doing for a few weeks now, the scale stays the same or goes UP a little. 

WTF.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Do You Know Joe?

Before we talk about Joe...yes, as you saw on Facebook this weekend, I did jump out of an airplane.  I'm waiting on the photo CD from the skydiving company that they'll be mailing me soon.  There will be a major blog post all about the blessed event with TONS of pics.

**************

Anywhoozle...do you know Joe?

He'll Be Here. 

Soon!

Yep, Trader Joe's is opening a store in my town!  

Since I'm sure you all know exactly what the most band-friendly choices are at Joe's, I am asking you: What are your go-to items and must haves at Trader Joes?

But wait....let's just quickly review what are not good choices for yours truly:
Trader Joe's Peanut Butter cookies
(Chicago 2011 BOOBs pic!!)
 
Trader Joe's Cookie Butter.This is my crack.
By the way...I don't need a large baby, but they do seem bargain-priced:

What are your go-to items and must haves at Trader Joes?

Saturday, June 16, 2012

New Banded Blogger Alert!

Please stop by and say hello to Banded Ice Girl.

She lives in Iceland and will be going to the UK for her band surgery.

She could use your support.

Thanks!

Friday, June 15, 2012

Weigh-In Day...


Goal Weight: 135 lbs

Last week's weight: 140.6 lbs

This week's weight: 141.0 lbs

GAIN: 0.4 lbs
How did I GAIN 0.4 lbs this week?

Let's review, shall we?

I wish that I could tell you about fabulous and yummy middle-of-the-night trips to the ice cream grocery store aisle. 

But that didn't happen.

Or even tasty visits to the Taco Bell drive-thru. 

But that didn't happen either.

Here's how it did happened.  Since my last weigh-in, I:
  • Tracked my food choices and ended each day around 1100-1200 calories and 70+ proteins.
  • Drank 100+ oz of water each day.
  • Jazzercised five times this week = 320 minutes of cardio and weight lifting.
Here's what doesn't show on that scale:
  • Some of my fitted tops are starting to get lose on me...mainly in the abdominal area (yay!) 
  • Jeans that I was struggling to zip up after Memorial Day weekend, have extra room in them now.
I will continue to press on.

There is no done.

There is no finish line.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

He Was a Vision in Blue

I went to see  Dr. Hottie my primary care doctor today. Swoon alert!

The appointment was to follow up on my blood tests/labs where they took EIGHT vials of blood from me a few weeks back. 

I totally deserved a cookie and some juice after that.

If you want to know my blood test results check it out on Facebook. Because, isn't that where all private health and medical information belongs of yours truly?

I kinda already knew that most of the results were good, since I had heard about some of them at my band adjustment appointment last week.  But not all the results were in at that time, so his office called me to set up an appointment to come in and see him.

During my appointment he asked if I was still rocking the sexiest legs ever. WAIT, that's not really what he said.  He asked about my lower leg swelling due to one of my high-blood pressure meds. 

I told him that they still looked like this at the end of the day:
Remind me to shave my legs before taking pics like this, OK?
I reminded him that sometimes us ladies like to wear skirts and cute heels in the evening when going out and don't want to scare people with our cankles.  Literally, that's what I said.  He nodded in agreement (probably laughing on the inside at what an ass-hat I am) and prescribed new high-blood pressure meds.

We also discussed how I seem to be getting some occasional upper right tummy pain about half hour after I eat.  The dreaded words "Gall Bladder" were mentioned.  So he ordered a scan or an ultra sound or something like that to take a closer look at it.

So, my questions for you: Have you had your gall bladder scanned? Removed?  What were your symptoms? Discuss.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Type 2 Diabetes Risk Assessment Tool

I just found this online tool from the Obesity Network that assesses the risk of developing Type 2 Diabetes. Dr Utkarsh Kulkarni, a physician and researcher in the UK invented the tool.

I have no idea of it's accuracy, but since I love me some numbers, percentages, and spreadsheets, I decided to give it a try with my pre-surgery stats and then using my current stats.

After plugging in my old stats, I learned that I used to have a 1 in 3 chance of getting Type 2 Diabetes within 10 years.

Wow.

I knew that I was unhealthy, but had no idea that I was THAT unhealthy.  And at age 29!

In comparison, using my current stats, I have a 1 in 25 chance of getting Type 2 Diabetes. 

Now I just gotta work on keeping my stats like that.

...and so the journey continues.

Monday, June 11, 2012

What Not To Do...

Dear Self,

Remember when you were pre-op and you watched all those YouTube videos of actual Lap-Band surgeries?  Remember how freaked out you made yourself?  Now that wasn't very fun, was it?

Well, let me give you some words of advice: looking at YouTube videos about sky-diving is causing you to get a little freaked out too.

So stop that already.


Five days to go...

Saturday, June 9, 2012

What Happened at My Band Adjustment Appointment OR Where Can I Buy Myself Some Tiny Purple Panties?

OK, finally.

I've carved out some time to tell you all bout my adjustment or Lap-Band "fill" appointment on Thursday morning.  

If you can please invent a 30-hour day I'll be your bestie.  OK?

Before we get down to it, let's talk about stairs.  

My surgeon's office is located on the third floor.  

Yep, I used to ALWAYS avoid stairs. No matter where I was, the elevator was my friend. 

If I did take the stairs, I'd get hot and red-faced. I'd get all sweaty. I'd get all huffy puffy and out of breath.  That was no fun.

When I was going through the pre-op process, I made myself a promise that once I had surgery, I would never take that elevator at my surgeon's office.  Ever.  

Well, I've kept up that promise to myself.  Even when I was six days post-op and my tummy felt like I'd just ton 40 gajillion sit-ups, I slowly took those stairs. One by one.
Made it to the top and I'm not sweaty mess.
Onwards to the waiting room.
I LOVE how my surgeon's office is very accommodating to all sized patients.  Check out their chairs in the waiting room.  They get it.  They get the concept of how tiny, unsteady, plastic chairs with arms can be scary to some patients. Yay for sturdy, wide, wood chairs.
I checked in with the front desk and they gave me their standard questionnaire.
How would you answer these questions?
They haven't changed these questions.  Ever.

At least no new questions or changes in almost three years.

I could answer these questions in my sleep.

One of these days, they should secretly insert a surprise question like "What is the square root of pi?" or "If you were a color, what color would you be?"

Here are my answers:
Does your surgeon make you answer a questionnaire before a fill?
I got called back to the exam room and there were all the lovely tools that make a Lap-Band fill possible all laid out all pretty on the counter:
Oh, look what's on the wall. Some reading fun while I wait.  It's an old-school Lap-Band poster.
I want to get some tiny purple panties.
After discussing with my Nurse Practitioner my recent labs (all looked great!) and my recent hunger issues, she asked me how much fill I wanted.  Yep, that's how she rolls.  She trusts me to know my body, my band, and judge where my hunger is at.

I replied with, "0.2 ccs."

She the reminded me that may be too much and would take me up to 7.8 ccs in my 10 cc band and that was way too much fill when we tried 7.8 ccs last September.  But I told her that I would like to give it a try.  So she put in the .2 ccs.  I drank some water, it went down ok, and off I went back to work.

As I drove back to work, I was drinking my water and noticed that I could really feel it slowly moving through my band.  Hmm..  I started to doubt myself and my decision of the .2 ccs.

But I pushed on.  I started on 24 hour liquids (my surgeon's rule after a fill).

That evening when swallowing my tiny pills/meds, they got stuck and came back up.  I've never been stuck on real food.  Just pills.  This was the third time I've ever been stuck and PB'd.

The next morning, I took one of my high blood pressure pills and it went down ok.  Maybe everything was calming down?

My morning yogurt went down very slowly too.  8 oz took about 25 minutes to eat.  This got me thinking that maybe this is what a properly adjusted band is supposed to feel like?

I had Taco Bell for lunch and it went down slowly too, but nothing got stuck.

So my question to you is:

How often do you get stuck, PB, and why do you think that it happens to you?  I wanna know.

Friday, June 8, 2012

Weigh-in & Flashback Friday

New goal weight: 135 lbs (was 145 lbs)

Last week's weight: 143.2 lbs

Today's weight: 140.6 lbs

How did I lose 2.6 lbs this week? I tracked my food choices (calories and protein) and Jazzercised. 

In honor of Flashback Friday, here I am at about 250ish lbs.
South Africa ~ June 2007
In this photo, I'm wearing:
  • Size 22W Lane Bryant Jeans....and they were stretchy jeans of course. 
  • Size 9.5 Wide shoes. (I now wear 7.5 regular width).
Coming up tomorrow: Find out what went down (or up?) at my fill/adjustment appointment yesterday.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Who's a Hungry, Hungry Hippo?


I've been noticing for a few weeks now that I tend to get hungry about 2-3 hours after eating a high-protein (20+ grams) one cup portion of food. This is how I can tell that I need a fill/adjustment to my Lap-Band.

I called early last week for an appointment with my surgeon's office and was given the earliest appointment available: June 28.

Sigh.

Waiting that long for an appointment is just not how I roll.

So I asked to be put on the wait list, just in case they have an opening from another patient cancelling their appointment.

Therefore, I've become the  biggest pain in ass patient most pro-active patient...EVER. I've been calling every two days to ask if there had been any cancellations.

There are never any cancellations. EVER.  But I still like to call and check-in to see how the wait list is coming along. Aren't I helpful?

Then I called yesterday.  The scheduler said that just two calls before mine there was a cancellation and she hadn't even had a chance to review the wait list.  Lucky me! She was able to fit me for this morning!

But please do not tell my band...you know how bands like to start closing up the moment they hear that a fill/adjustment appointment is scheduled.  Shhh...be very, very quiet....

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Having Weight Loss Surgery is Like...

This girl's gotta have FREE stuff to listen to while on roadtrips. So I've started listening to Jillian Michaels podcasts on itunes.
Just in case you  have been living under a rock  didn't know, Jillian was a trainer on The Biggest Loser TV Show for many, many seasons.

Her podcast is all about weight loss, exercise, healthy living, blah, blah...you know, the usual.

On the podcast from May 12, Jillian's guest, Dr. Katja Van Herle said, that in her opinion:


Having weight loss surgery is like going through a gender reassignment surgery.


What?!?


Huh?

Fo' sho'.  That's what she said.

I was cruisin' down Interstate 5 when I heard this and almost accidentally swerved off the road.  I have never heard anyone make this analogy.


At approximately the 20:30 mark on the 5/12/12 podcast, Dr. V talks about how the following occurs with both types of surgeries:
  • There is/are a pre-op psych evaluation(s)
  • The patient has to prepare to live a completely new lifestyle (through classes/counseling/etc)
  • It gives the patient a second chance to life the life they want to live.
  • The surgery changes the rest of the patient's life in many ways: lifestyle, relationships, how the patient interacts with others, their career, etc.
OK, maybe that's somewhat true. 

I think that since Dr. V has neither had weight loss surgery nor gender reassignment surgery, how does she really know?

One point that could be added to Dr. V's case (that she didn't say) is that some weight loss surgery patients feel like there is a "skinny person" trapped inside just waiting to emerge once they lose the weight. For the record, I have NEVER felt this way about myself. In my brain, I'll always be a fatty inside and on the outside.

I've heard on occasion the same type of comments from people on those gender reassignment surgery reality shows on Discovery channel and even an ol' school Maury Povich/Ricki Lake episode. Some say that they feel like they are one gender inside, but another gender on the outside and that inner gender is trapped inside.

Hmmm...all this thinking, over-generalizing, and stereo-typing is making my brain hurt.  I deserve of cookie.
What do YOU think?

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Me-Ality Review & a Few Shopping Pics

Over Memorial day weekend on my eight hour road trip to California, I finally got my chance to experience Me-Ality and do some serious shopping.

'Cuz I live in the middle-of-nowhere Oregon.

It's kinda funny how I LEAVE Oregon to do my clothes shopping. 

If anything, the state of Oregon has taught me how to be a really good online shopper. Coupon codes are my friend.

Anywhoozle, if you remember from last week's post, Me-Ality is a body scanner that provides you with a print out of what size jeans you are in most stores and brands. It also recommends sytles that best show off or minimize your booty.
As I walked up to the scanner, I noticed there were three overly-eager Me-Ality associates trying to get anyone and everyone who passed by to try Me-Ality.


Everyone just ignored them and kept walking.


Not me.  I walked up and got started.  The associate asked me to remove all metal (jewelry/etc) and my belt (which I wasn't wearing anyway).


They asked for my email address to set up an online profile so they could email me my results.  Or if you are a conspiracy theorist, so that the Me-Ality company who is really a cover up for ALIENS FROM ANOTHER PLANET the US government to keep track of all of us Americans with our sizes and measurements and take over our brains one day.


But wait, I digress.


Once the profile was set up, I walked into the scanner, stood on the markers, and totally sucked in my gut like my life depended on it (wouldn't you?).


It scanned my body for about 20 seconds and it was done.  I felt like I was at airport security.


My size and style print out showed that:
  • My best match is Silver Jeans Co. brand size 30. 'Tuesday Flare' Low rise, Low flare. $82. Yikes. Way too spendy for this girl.
  • Next best match was American Eagle brand size 10 'Skinny' Low rise jeans $39.
The associate told me that soon they would be offering bra size/style and shirt size/style recommendations. They will be emailing me and updating my online profile with this information eventually. Coolness.

So armed with my new size info and style recommendations, off I went to American Eagle.  

Skeptical about the size '10' recommendation, I grabbed sizes 6, 8, and 10 'Skinny' Low rise jeans off the shelf and went into the dressing room.  

The size 10s were HUGE on me.  I would need a belt.  The size 8 felt better, but knowing stretchy jeans, they would be baggy in a short while.  I then tried the 6s and they were too tight.  Whatevs.

This makes me wonder if the Me-Ality doesn't take into account how my extra lower belly skin (as a result from losing about 115 lbs) can be squished into jeans, unlike actual belly fat/tissue?  I dunno.

I didn't buy any jeans that day.  

I'm just more confused than I was before I began on how jacked up women's clothing sizes are in the USA.

Oh well.

Onwards to a few shopping finds!  

I still need to get a full length mirror at home.

No more standing on chairs in the bathroom. I will fall down off said chair one of these days and Pemberley will not come to my rescue:
Nine West wedges.  LOVE THEM!
Cute new top from Ann Taylor
that I got in a few different colors.
What are your thoughts on cowl necks?
Stay tuned for tomorrow's blog post where I discuss the craziest weight loss surgery analogy that I have ever heard of. AND it comes from a REAL doctor. Where the weight loss surgery process is compared with another type of surgery process.  You'll never guess...!

Monday, June 4, 2012

What Happens at a Zumbathon Party?

What's a  ZUMBATHON you ask?

Well, you're in luck.

I just happen to attend a Zumbathon party this past weekend.

First, these parties can sometimes be on the 'DL'.  Ya know, all secretive-like.  So you gotta be friends with the Zumba instructors in your area so you get the coveted invites.

When you arrive, you pay the cover fee and then  strut your bad self  walk the red carpet. Strike your best pose for the paparazzi.

It's best to channel your inner RuPaul for this opportunity.

Yes, there are straight men who Zumba.
And they're usually HOT  Latino men in muscle shirts.
Gifts from the baby Jesus indeed.
My Diva face
Who is this guy 'Heisman' and
why did he get to invent this pose?
I think that I've perfected it.
Shakin' our booties to some amazin' DJ skillz
Three hours later after gettin' my Zumba on, sweating buckets, and drinking 64 oz of water...this is what I looked like when sitting on the curb all classy like in front of the club.  
I'm smiling on the inside.
Totally worn out and I had a FABULOUS time.  I can't wait to go to my next Zumbathon party!

PS: Did you see the weight loss roll call that we did on Facebook this weekend? Amazing weight loss numbers from the banded, sleeved, and even folks losing weight with the usual methods.