Here's something that I can't seem to wrap my crazy mind around...
In addition to that lovely question that I've been asked a few times lately, "Are you going to get that Lap Band taken out now that you're skinny?" there's another statement that makes me smile and laugh...
Are you ready for it? I heard this yesterday and last week:
"You weren't really THAT fat."
Seriously? What comparison is being made here?
This statement is coming from people who definitely knew me in the fatty days, oh wait, if I was attempting to be P.C., I would say the "Pre-Band" days. But I'm not feelin' the P.C. undertones today, so what part of this doesn't say "fatty"?
Are people forgetting?
In addition to that lovely question that I've been asked a few times lately, "Are you going to get that Lap Band taken out now that you're skinny?" there's another statement that makes me smile and laugh...
Are you ready for it? I heard this yesterday and last week:
"You weren't really THAT fat."
Seriously? What comparison is being made here?
This statement is coming from people who definitely knew me in the fatty days, oh wait, if I was attempting to be P.C., I would say the "Pre-Band" days. But I'm not feelin' the P.C. undertones today, so what part of this doesn't say "fatty"?
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| ~260 lbs |
People's perception is skewed, particularly if they themselves are overweight or obese. A 260-lb woman is NOT uncommon today, so they're probably envisioning the former you next to the 300-lb women they see (also not uncommon). When I would tell people (other overweight women) that I weighed 210 lbs (way back when) they'd all say, Really? Wow, you must carry it well because I would guess you around 170! (As if 170 were just fine). People are not good at guessing weight (carnies an obvious exception)-- I'm a muscular 142 lbs now but people -- especially men, maybe they're tried to be complimentary -- think I weigh 125-130. As for your "before" weight, in your case as well as mine, their visual memories may just not be accurate as some time has passed. In conclusion: people are slightly put off by success as it forces them to consider their own efforts or lack thereof.
ReplyDeleteI think it's even hard for us to remember what we looked like at certain points.... I still can't believe how overweight I am at this point... I actually have an opposite effect...when I look at pictures now, I think "I can't believe I'm really That fat"..... surgery day coming up: March 30th.... I hope I can be as successful as you have been :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the inspiration :)
I'm glad you can laugh about it, you've come so far.
ReplyDeleteI am still preband and at 5'2" and 237 pounds, a lot of my friends say "you're not that fat" to me and you don't need that. I think that the people that love and care about us just can not see the reality that is in front of them. I swear my husband sees the 125 lb girl that he married all those years ago. I hope I can be even half as succesful and you have been with this life changing journey.
ReplyDeleteI really think peoples perceptions are a bit skewed. I have people telling me I need to quit losing because I am just too skinny now. Uh........I am 5'7" and 171 lbs. That is not skinny.
ReplyDeleteI get that all the time, I havn't been telling many people that I was getting/now have the lap band (3/13/12), because mostly I got "Aww come on, you could just do it without the band, you are not all that big really." (as IF I need another guilt trip.) In fact, I think my own husband truly believes that I should just be able to do it without the band and save $13000. After all, he lost 120lbs on his own, nevermind that well over half of that is back already. I am 5'2" and 226lbs at surgery consult, 207 today. My weight for might height is right about 120 and my goal for the band is 135. That's 90-105 lbs PEOPLE. REALLY that's a whole other human I need to lose. I get told "you certainly carry it well. pppfffttt....they are not in this body and do not know how it feels to actually CARRY IT. Think two 50 lbs bags of dog food strapped to your back and front all day. I agree with Norma, 300 even 400lb people are pretty common these days. Even when I was a kid, I can remember my dad making fun of everyone that hit 200 lbs because even just 25 years ago 200lbs was really pretty big. But these days, 200lbs not huge in comparison. It is hard for EVEN me to believe sometimes that what I really should weigh is 135 lbs or less. I've been over 175 since jr. high. So it's going to be weird, when I get there. And I DO mean WHEN!
ReplyDeleteFunny that you mentioned dog food...our dogs' food comes in 32 lb bags and every time I lift one of those up at the store, I think, I used to carry more than twice this much weight ON MY BODY... (I'm not banded but no matter how a person finds their way to a healthy weight, looking back brings up a lot of strong emotions)
DeleteI think what people mean to say is, "I don't remember you being that fat AT THE TIME." My highest was 355 and when I look back at pictures now, even I find myself thinking "Wow, I don't remember being THAT FAT!" It's probably all relative...
ReplyDeleteYes, I can identify with this! My lovely daughters would say "You're not fat Mama." Oh yes, at 178 pounds on a 5'3" frame, I was FAT. Other people would only say things to my face if I lost weight. Then, they would say "You were really fat." or You were really getting fat."
ReplyDeleteHave you gotten the very concerned face and questions like "Are you sick?" or "You aren't going to lose anymore weight are you?"
I get that all of the time "you werent THAT big" Ummm at 5 feet tall and 262... umm yea i was HUGE! *sigh*
ReplyDeletePeople DO forget... alot of people have said to me lately that I wasn't that big, etc. I just want to say, "Are you serious?" Umm, come on now, people. COME ON.
ReplyDeleteWhat DO you say to that?
I tell them that their memory is failing them :)
ReplyDeleteThe most important reason I got the band was to keep the weight off. What part of that don't people understand. I just hope there are no complications where we "lose it". I look at some of my before pics and suddenly see the fat. For some reason I had some dysmorphia where what I saw in the mirror wasn't reality--I saw a thin person. That has changed. Funny but now I still see the fat roll and baggy skin like a normal person. Keep up the great work. You look amazing (well in your new pics that is!).
ReplyDeleteI think it is very easy to forget. When you look at a different version of the same thing, after a while how do you remember what it was like before. e.g. people's hair colour, room layout, brand packanging. I know I'm dreadful at it.
ReplyDeletePeople are just downright interesting. If we don't laugh at them - we'll end up killing them! LOL
ReplyDeleteI wonder if they think they're being nice by telling you that. I have had a lot of people tell me I'm not that big and I mean geez...if you're over 400 pounds you're big. But I still have had people tell me I'm not really all that big at my highest weight. I truly think they feel they are being nice by ....lying? lol
ReplyDeleteI finally have my surgery date. 3/30/12! Finally to be an official part of the club! Liquids starting Friday.
ReplyDeleteCONGRATS :)
DeleteI have heard that too and I was 360 pounds. I think people are trying to be nice and don't really know what to say. :)
ReplyDeleteInteresting ... I have " friends" that still don't really see me as losing a lot of weight - even after 40KG+-
ReplyDeleteI am still ME and that is what I like they saw... and that I think is the essescnece of life.
Life is still much better with the fat gone ......