You Know You're a Bandster When...

• You have a "date" does not mean you're going out.
• The phrase "I'm a loser" is a good thing.
• All of your silverware says Gerber.
• "Welcome to the other side" doesn't include death.
• You get excited about hand me downs.
• Getting wrinkles is a good thing.
• Hitting the "Century Mark" is actually a good thing.
• When the word lap has nothing to do with a strip club.
• Other women are calling you "bitch" behind your back.
• When you are glared at in the plus size department because you "don't belong there".
• When you really don't have a thing to wear.
• You have to prove you are the person on the driver's license.
• You start being in the pictures not behind the camera.
• You are never far from your bottle of water
• When you order a doggy bag at the same time as your meal.
• You're too small for your britches.
• When you go to the mall a take the first available space instead of circling 20 minutes for one closer to the door.
• You truly are a "cheap date".
• When one drink makes you sloppy drunk
• You flip up your shirt to show complete strangers your scar and ask "wanna feel my port"?
• Vitamins feel like a meal.
• You can cross your legs... both of them
• Instead of a Wonder Bra you need a Wonder Where They Went Bra
• When your treadmill is no longer used for drying your fine washables
• You can wear corduroy pants without igniting a fire
• When you wave and your upper arms wave back
• You cancel your Lane Bryant Credit Card