Weigh-Ins are on MONDAYS - Updated July 3, 2017

Surgery Date: October 20, 2009:

Thursday, June 30, 2011

You Know You're a Bandster When...

  • You have a "date" does not mean you're going out.
  • The phrase "I'm a loser" is a good thing.
  • All of your silverware says Gerber.
  • "Welcome to the other side" doesn't include death.
  • You get excited about hand me downs.
  • Getting wrinkles is a good thing.
  • Hitting the "Century Mark" is actually a good thing.
  • When the word lap has nothing to do with a strip club.
  • Other women are calling you "bitch" behind your back.
  • When you are glared at in the plus size department because you "don't belong there".
  • When you really don't have a thing to wear.
  • You have to prove you are the person on the driver's license.
  • You start being in the pictures not behind the camera.
  • You are never far from your bottle of water
  • When you order a doggy bag at the same time as your meal.
  • You're too small for your britches.
  • When you go to the mall a take the first available space instead of circling 20 minutes for one closer to the door.
  • You truly are a "cheap date".
  • When one drink makes you sloppy drunk
  • You flip up your shirt to show complete strangers your scar and ask "wanna feel my port"?
  • Vitamins feel like a meal.
  • You can cross your legs... both of them
  • Instead of a Wonder Bra you need a Wonder Where They Went Bra
  • When your treadmill is no longer used for drying your fine washables
  • You can wear corduroy pants without igniting a fire
  • When you wave and your upper arms wave back
  • You cancel your Lane Bryant Credit Card


  1. -Wonder Bra: Hilarious.
    -Corduroy's: Almost snorted pudding thru my nostril.

    Love them all!!

  2. hahahahaha at the cordouroy's!!! What a terrific list - you're so creative!! I love it!!

  3. Wow, I've found myself in a couple places the last few days saying "See you on the other side"
    Also - hubby and I share a you pick two at Panera now. Cheap date indeed!

    Hand me downs - I LOVE that my bestie let me closet shop in her closet for new clothes. : )

  4. "You can wear corduroy pants without igniting a fire."


  5. That is hysterical!

  6. I spit my hot tea out of my nose when I read the one about corduroys!

  7. Hilarious!! I love it.

  8. Too Funny - I have a "wonder where they went" situation going on right now!

  9. Love, love, love it!!

  10. AnonymousJune 30, 2011

    Love these! I used to work a few nights a week at Lane Bryant for the 40% discount. Now I refuse to buy another thing there- so let's cut up the cc!
    God, I hope I can keep my boobs and lose fat everywhere else. They are they only "good thing" I have going.

  11. Cute! Thanks for posting, LBG!

  12. LOL. Thanks for the laugh!

  13. This was sooooooo funny!