I never thought that this topic would EVER come up on my blog. Never say never I guess...
I've had five separate people (all women) tell me in the last two weeks that they are concerned about me and that I'm getting too skinny. Yep, let's say that again...TOO SKINNY.
Words that they've used are: gaunt, not good, concerned. Then they spin the conversation with a funny comment like "you should eat a cookie." Ha ha...aren't we funny (note sarcasm).
These comments are coming from women that see me almost every day. I can appreciate their concern and understand that they are only looking out for me and my health. I am glad that I have people like this in my life.
But this makes me wonder if the coin was flipped and if I was still an obese person who was getting fatter by the day. No one in a million years would ever say to me: "Hey, we're worried about you. You seem to be getting fatter. You should stop stuffing your face and exercise." Can you imagine the result of having that conversation with a fatty? Seriously.
I have a few select people in my life that I have instructed to speak up and tell me when/if I ever get "too skinny." I trust their judgement and know that they will tell me like it is. So far, they don't think that I am getting too skinny.
At 5'4", I weighed in at 136 lbs this morning, with a BMI of 23ish and body fat percent of 30ish...I am hardly wasting away.
I've had five separate people (all women) tell me in the last two weeks that they are concerned about me and that I'm getting too skinny. Yep, let's say that again...TOO SKINNY.
Words that they've used are: gaunt, not good, concerned. Then they spin the conversation with a funny comment like "you should eat a cookie." Ha ha...aren't we funny (note sarcasm).
These comments are coming from women that see me almost every day. I can appreciate their concern and understand that they are only looking out for me and my health. I am glad that I have people like this in my life.
But this makes me wonder if the coin was flipped and if I was still an obese person who was getting fatter by the day. No one in a million years would ever say to me: "Hey, we're worried about you. You seem to be getting fatter. You should stop stuffing your face and exercise." Can you imagine the result of having that conversation with a fatty? Seriously.
I have a few select people in my life that I have instructed to speak up and tell me when/if I ever get "too skinny." I trust their judgement and know that they will tell me like it is. So far, they don't think that I am getting too skinny.
At 5'4", I weighed in at 136 lbs this morning, with a BMI of 23ish and body fat percent of 30ish...I am hardly wasting away.
You and I are the same BMI and I don't think you're too skinny. :)
ReplyDeleteI think you look great, and it is how YOU feel! If you feel good, then you are where you should be. I know that there is concern in the WLS world that we will go to the other side of the spectrum of eating disorders.
ReplyDeleteIt is a real fear, because it can happen. There are people with addictive personalities that will get addicted to working out, to the point of starving themselves and working their bodies til they are nearly anorexic. If your DR is fine with your weight, then I say let the naysayers be gone!
You look Fab!
It would be different if you weren't getting enough protein and you were spending long hours on the treadmill etc. We both know that's not the case. As far as I know you don't treadmill at all. Hee hee. I would try to gently tell the people that you are well within healthy BMI and while you genuinely (even if you don't) appreciate the concern, but you and your doctor feel you're doing very well and it's not something they need to worry about.
ReplyDeleteYou're so right though - so many people think it's OK to say "you're too skinny" even though the same people would likely never say "Honey, you're getting too fat now..." My BFF, Robyn's daughter is in that boat right now. She's a healthy eater and a runner and people are concerned she's too thin. She finds it offensive. I can understand why.
I got those comments from a family member when I was about 150 pounds (still overweight in the BMI catagory) and about 6 month's after surgery. I haven't seen them since! LOL. I DID actually get to a point I was too skinny (per my Dr., my husband and the mirror. LOl) but started maintaining at that point and now that I've gained back 3 pounds (yes, even that little amount) I look better. But I agree, if you have a handpicked two or three people who you trust to tell you when your too thin, ignore the others. For the record, I think your doing and looking GREAT!!
ReplyDeleteI can definitely relate to those comments. Back in the day before I was banded and I did have some moments of being "skinny" I had many people tell me I was to skinny. I eventually did tell someone, "to bad you didn't tell me I was to fat when I was".
ReplyDeleteAnd the smart-alec(sp?) side of me wants to point out something about them and comment on it but I don't.
I think you look great but I know what you mean.
My view of your photos... your good. Now if you have bones (ribs, spine) sticking out. Too skinny. LOL. But it all just depends on your body type. I know someone people naturally have high metabolisms and can't help but be that thin.
ReplyDeleteI think for some people... when they are use to seeing a person a certain way, its hard for them to grasp that you are at this new weight because that person looks like a completely different person. I kind of felt like that with a friend who lost 100lbs on her own. It was weird seeing her that thin. And then she wanted to lose more. It did from outside view look like she was too skinny. But I could tell her that. I'd never say that to a co-worker or someone I barely know.
I think sometimes when women say that someone is "too skinny," I think it's sometimes meant as a compliment. It's another way of saying, "You look thin and fit. I'm jealous!" I would just blow off their comments as compliments. Trust your judgement and your good friends'.
ReplyDeleteI agree that there is a bit of a contrast effect at play-- because they are used to seeing you obese, overweight looks normal and normal looks "too skinny". I also think that because we trend large as a society, that we have a skewed perception of what "normal weight" is. Is your doctor happy? Do you feel healthy? Do you have a healthy outlook about the role of food in your life? Are you engaged in normal eating behaviors? Then you are fine. If you engaging in disordered eating in a drive to be thin, that's a problem that might be worth exploring with your doctor, but it doesn't look that way from where I'm sitting.
ReplyDeleteAs to your commentators-- if someone said they were concerned, that is one thing (though seriously, I hope they are a close friend). But if someone said I didn't look good or I was gaunt-- seriously, I'd be tempted to be rude right back just to prove a point. It's just not ok-- not when you were fat and not now that you are trying to be healthy.
You are doing great. Don't worry about being too skinny. I love your kitty pictures.
ReplyDeleteI would relish on being told I was "too skinny". You look WONDERFUL enjoy it you earned it!
ReplyDeleteMy daughter deals with this everyday and it can be very hurtful. I have told her that if she lived in Europe that no one would think she is too thin; it is our overweight society in this country.
ReplyDeleteI know how bad it hurts her and I am sorry you are getting that treatment now.
I know I have been guilty of telling people they are too skinny in the past. I thought it was a compliment, because I was jealous; now I know it is an insult and I would never say that to someone again.
Very interesting! I do agree with those who said that since these people are not used to seeing you at a normal weight, they don't realize what is healthy on you. Seeing someone else's collar bones defined wouldn't alarm them, but you weren't that way before.
ReplyDeleteI bet you weren't rude back, classy lady :)
Here is my thought on this. First, if people knew us at our heaviest, then I think we look "too skinny" quicker to them. BC in their heads, they are comparing us to wear we came from and they can still picture us fuller. Most people wouldnt tell someone your height that they are too skinny...unless they are just talking about personal preference. Second though, those of us who have lost weight can appear "too skinny" or sickly long before others at the same weight who were never fat. For example, Heather weighs 126 and she is "tiny" but noone would really say (I dont think) that she is sickly looking. However, us former fatties can look deflated or "empty" depending on how the weight loss changed our shape, skin, etc.
ReplyDeleteI didnt think you looked too skinny in San Fran. I thought you looked just right. I dont know how this additional 10 pounds has changed how you look though.
I have seen some of our band sisters though that don't look "healthy" to me though, and it doesnt really have anything to do with their BMI.
I would let you know if I thought you were too skinny. Hopefully I will see you soon so I can evaluate :)
I agree with the other ladies comments. You look wonderful and not too skinny by the pictures I have seen.
ReplyDeleteI think you look fabulous. Definitely not too skinny. And it's not like you're still trying to lose.
ReplyDelete