Weigh-Ins are on MONDAYS - Updated July 3, 2017

Surgery Date: October 20, 2009:

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Feeling Better & Interesting Comment From a Non-Bandster

Thank you for your kind words yesterday.  I was feeling better by the afternoon and hunting down some chocolate chip cookies...sigh.

I had an interesting comment from someone who shall remain nameless, a non-bandster.  Let me preface this by saying the following things about this person:
  • Has been very, very supportive in my weightloss journey. 
  • Is one of those people who has always been thin, healthy, and works out daily their entire life.
  • Understands that it's not just the surgery, it's a HUGE mental journey as well.
  • LOVES analogies
So, this person made the following analogy (I'm paraphrasing here):

"Losing all the weight has got to be like having one's legs amputated above the knee.  You are viewed so differently by others, treated so differently by others, and you have to relearn how to do many things in your life.  It has to be a lot of mental work."

What are your thoughts on that?


  1. Sounds like an empathetic person, the only thing about it is that this "relearning" process can often be done with a great deal of joy ;)

  2. In a loving way, tell the author they meant well, but the analogy is at best "ugly ?". Healthy people that were fat are treated better than they were as obese people. Amputees, not so much...You look great though, even with the one leg...

  3. Sounds like a wise woman. It really is just as much mental as anything else.

  4. I have to agree somewhat, because yes, I am having to relearn things after having dropped the weight. So much of my behavior and what I would or would not do was dictated by my weight. I've still not been on a bike since I had my surgery, because part of me thinks I am still to heavy and the tires will sag, but I know that's not true. My mind just hasn't fully caught up yet. I have to remember to NOT automatically go to the plus size section of clothing stores. And admittedly it's weird that people go out of their way to help thinner Stephanie when Obese Stephanie would have been ignored. Thanks for bringing this up!!

  5. I would say that we re-discover life, not re-learn

  6. What a peculiar analogy. Amputation above the knee is deforming, double amputation is extremely disabling-- though people can live full lives.
    I really don't understand the comment, and to me (sorry) it sounds like a thinly veiled insult, I can't even put my finger on it... Anyhow: everyone's got an opinion-- but no one can really get into your head.

  7. I actually completely disagree..... before I lost all this weight, I was treated differently, looked at differently, and had to overcome my shortcomings as best I could (hello flight of stairs.....)

    But now.... people who knew me when I was at my heaviest are happy for me. People who barely knew me at my heaviest don't even recognize me now, which although still weird to me, let's me pick and choose who I get to "meet" again..... and who I don't. :D

  8. I'm in the minority here and think the analagy is great. I didn't take it literally - as in being thin vs fat is similar to having one leg vs two. I took it philosophically as in - looking radically different has a serious and radical effect on how others view us and how we view ourselves. And these differences are very profound.

    Perhaps a different analogy would have been a better choice, but I do agree that the change is profound and that the process to learn how to navigate in this world - both from our own point of view and in how differently others treat us is a very, very big deal mentally.

  9. i'm not going to get into whether it's a good analogy or not, but it certainly hit the nail on the head for me. was about to write a new post about how even though i know it's really ungrateful, i just wish for once i could go out and the conversation NOT be about my weight loss and my new body. I mean I know everyone means well and I know most of them haven't seen me in ages, but it's getting old and I'm finding it harder and harder to smile through it all!
    And I am still not used to my body either... still lean into the wall as I pass someone on the steps or in a hallway because I think i take up more space than i do... that kind of stuff

  10. My comment was going to be so long, I decided to post on my blog. Hope you don't mind. I agree with Read. It was an eye-opening comment which I feel is so true and I didn't think it was "bad". I think you have a gem of a friend with some very insightful thoughts. At least they are able to make sense of it all.

  11. Wow! Well I would have to say that losing weight has been more positivethan I imagine losing my legs would be, but it is a drastic change, fo' sho'~!

  12. Funny, in my minds eye I never saw myself as fat. So I have not really had to do a major adjustment to not feel fat if that makes sense.

    It was only after I was single and was trying to date again that I realized i was the ONLY one that did not see me as fat! lol

    Typical male arrogance I suppose! lol

  13. So your turn, looking at your awesome photos you MUST be getting a lot of attention from men now. (If you are not move out of the gay district.)

    Many attractive women say they get tired of getting "hit on" all the time. Are you getting tired of the male attention yet?