Banded For Two Years - My Letter To the Fatty That I Used To Be

Exactly two years ago today on October 20, 2009, I had Lap Band surgery.

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Dear Fatty,

You don't know it yet, but in the next few months you are going to finally make the decision to take control of your health.

You will no longer be okay with increasing number of pills and drugs the doctors keep prescribing for the side effects of your morbid obesity.

You will refuse to be out of breath all of the time.

You'll eventually get sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Get ready to embark on the most amazing ride of self-discovery that you've ever experienced.  You will learn so many new things by getting your body healthy.  It'll happen.  I promise.

You'll find out that the surgery itself will be the most painful thing you've experienced so far in your 30 years of life.  Here's what you'll look like when you emerge from operating room.  A hot mess...right?  But, guess what?  I can promise you that the pain and recovery time after surgery is TOTALLY worth it.

After you recover from surgery, you'll start to realize that it's not the end of the world and that it's okay to sweat, have muscles, and exercise.  I know that you only get sweaty and out of breath now when it gets above 65 F or when you climb up a few stairs.  But that will change. 

You will one day look forward to exercise.  You will crave it.  You'll hike up mountains. You will become outdoorsy.  Really.  The chub rub will go away.  You'll see, it'll happen. I promise.  Here's what you'll look like when you exercise.  See that smile on your face?

You'll also learn a whole new way of eating.  Right now, you are already thinking of what you'll have for lunch and dinner while you're still eating breakfast.

I know that you're fantasizing about what "fun" food you'll go eat that night or that weekend.

Currently, food is an event to celebrate for you.  But eventually, you'll look forward to the company of the people you eat with, not the food that you eat.  The food will become an afterthought.  Food will also no longer be the focus of every minute of every day.  You'll occasionally forget to eat.  Seriously.  Would you even guess that your meals will one day look like this?  Tiny, right?  You'll see...I promise.

Oh, and by the way...even though you think that you already know this, you really have NO IDEA.  As you get healthier, your appearance will change....A LOT.  You'll have to reintroduce yourself to friends that you haven't seen in awhile.  They won't recognize you.  It'll be awkward. 

People will treat you very differently when your appearance changes. Family, friends, loved ones, coworkers...EVERYONE.  You are invisible as a fatty.  People don't see YOU, they look past you.  They only see the fat.  Gradually, people will become nicer to you as you lose the weight.  At first, you will be very uncomfortable with this.  But you'll soon learn that you enjoy the extra attention.  It'll happen. I can promise you that.

Lastly, I would like to ask you for a promise, Fatty. 

It's a very important promise to your future skinny girl self:

Please always remember how you are feeling right now.

I know that you're tired all...the..damn...time.  You're sleeping your life away.

Then there's that back pain when you wake up in the morning.

Oh, and those painful and swollen ankles at the end of the day and the headaches from the high blood pressure.  Never forget how that pain feels. 

Can you make me that promise to never forget how it feels to be fat?  Pretty please with Splenda on top?

Thanks.

I'm counting on it.