Happy Halloween!

How was your Halloween weekend? 

Mine was great!

I went to potluck Halloween costume party on Saturday night.  I made a delicious low calorie pumpkin spice cake with cream cheese frosting and caramel drizzle...from scratch.  No cake mix involved.  Totally low fat rich and decadent...Yum!

Did you see the sneak peek of my Halloween costume on the Facebook page that I posted on Saturday night?  Well, in case you missed it, I was a skanky pirate.

Wearing this costume was a HUGE non-scale victory for me!

Hope you have a safe and fun Halloween!

Back To Basics - Do You Love Flan?

I do.

Actually, I don't think that I've ever met a dessert that I didn't like.  I guess that explains why I once weighed 256 lbs.

I've been thinking a lot lately about getting back to basics with my food choices.

I used to be such a good little bandster.  Now?  Not so much.

Therefore, here's one of my very favorite band-friendly recipes...ever.

Vanilla Egg Custard.

It's cinnamon-ny.  It's nutmegy.  It's sweet.  It's deeeee-lish.

It's the skinny cousin of high calorie/fat flan.  High protein, low calorie.

I posted the recipe two years ago when I was 5 days post-op.  Check it out HERE.

I made the recipe again this week.  It was just as yummy as I remember it....

PS: This recipe qualifies as a "full liquid" according to my surgeon.

Weigh-in Day...and a Fun With Fat Photo

Goal Weight: 145 lbs

Today's Weight: 139.0 lbs

Are you ready for Halloween? 

I'll be sure to post a photo of me in my costume....hint: I'll be wearing fishnets...

Anyways, here's the promised fun with fat photo (Halloween 2002):

What are you going to be for Halloween this year?

A Reminder For Me...

I am putting this video up as a reminder to myself that patient compliance is SO important with a gastric band.

The next time I want to stuff myself silly with cookies, cake, or whatever food is available at the moment, I need to think of this video. (warning: it's kind of graphic)

PS: This is a REALIZE band, not a Lap Band shown in this video.

Uh Oh...

With some hopeful travel plans in my future, I took a look at my passport to see when it expires.

The good news? It doesn't expire until December 2018.

The bad news? I think I may need to renew it because the photo doesn't really look like me anymore.

What do you think?

Is a  new passport needed? 

Two Lessons Learned From This Weekend...

#1  It is possible to do "Jazz Hands" while wearing a pink fanny pack:

#2   That I can out run a small yippy dog in the vineyards:

Whew! 5.5 mile walk/hike....done!

Don't Look Down. It's a Long, Long Way to Fall

Sometimes I feel like I am teetering on a tightrope with this weight loss that I've achieved. 

Like if I lose my focus for just one teeny tiny moment, that I will free fall down, down, down...actually now that I think about, the correct word would be FAIL (not fall).

Like I'll immediately gain back the 115+ lbs...instantly.

I know, totally unrealistic and insane, right?  But that's me.  I welcome you to Crazytown, population: 1.

There are so few of us that blog or talk about what being in maintenance is like after losing a significant amount of weight.  Yep, that view from my tightrope isn't always clear. Sure, there are tons of TV shows, websites, and blogs out there that tell us how to lose weight.  But what about those of us trying to maintain our weight loss?

Therefore, I usually have to guess what's out there waiting for me a few steps ahead on my tightrope.

Will strong winds start up and make that rope wibble-wobble back and forth a little?

What if that rope starts to fray a little?

I guess that's why I try to never ever work without a safety net.

We each have a safety net.  Each of our nets are different, but I think that it's also important to specify the type of net.

My main safety net is the scale that I step on each and every morning.  My body is very quick to tell me how fabulous (or not so fabulous) my food choices the day before were and whether I exercised.  Like it or not, it shows up on that scale. If I see my weight start to creep up, I know that it's time to refocus on good food choices and making exercise a priority.

I do have another safety net, but I don't depend on it as much as the scale.  I need to focus more on how my clothes fit.  I've noticed that my jeans lately have been getting a little bit big and roomy on me, yet the scale has remained about the same.

So I want to know, what are your safety nets?

Weigh-in Day & a Fancy Graph

Goal Weight: 145 lbs

Today's Weight:  139.8 lbs

Here is my sad attempt to make maintenance interesting. 

This graph shows every Friday weigh-in since I hit my goal weight on 12/17/10 through 10/14/11:

HAPPY FRIDAY!

Banded For Two Years - My Letter To the Fatty That I Used To Be

Exactly two years ago today on October 20, 2009, I had Lap Band surgery.

************************

Dear Fatty,

You don't know it yet, but in the next few months you are going to finally make the decision to take control of your health.

You will no longer be okay with increasing number of pills and drugs the doctors keep prescribing for the side effects of your morbid obesity.

You will refuse to be out of breath all of the time.

You'll eventually get sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Get ready to embark on the most amazing ride of self-discovery that you've ever experienced.  You will learn so many new things by getting your body healthy.  It'll happen.  I promise.

You'll find out that the surgery itself will be the most painful thing you've experienced so far in your 30 years of life.  Here's what you'll look like when you emerge from operating room.  A hot mess...right?  But, guess what?  I can promise you that the pain and recovery time after surgery is TOTALLY worth it.

After you recover from surgery, you'll start to realize that it's not the end of the world and that it's okay to sweat, have muscles, and exercise.  I know that you only get sweaty and out of breath now when it gets above 65 F or when you climb up a few stairs.  But that will change. 

You will one day look forward to exercise.  You will crave it.  You'll hike up mountains. You will become outdoorsy.  Really.  The chub rub will go away.  You'll see, it'll happen. I promise.  Here's what you'll look like when you exercise.  See that smile on your face?

You'll also learn a whole new way of eating.  Right now, you are already thinking of what you'll have for lunch and dinner while you're still eating breakfast.

I know that you're fantasizing about what "fun" food you'll go eat that night or that weekend.

Currently, food is an event to celebrate for you.  But eventually, you'll look forward to the company of the people you eat with, not the food that you eat.  The food will become an afterthought.  Food will also no longer be the focus of every minute of every day.  You'll occasionally forget to eat.  Seriously.  Would you even guess that your meals will one day look like this?  Tiny, right?  You'll see...I promise.

Oh, and by the way...even though you think that you already know this, you really have NO IDEA.  As you get healthier, your appearance will change....A LOT.  You'll have to reintroduce yourself to friends that you haven't seen in awhile.  They won't recognize you.  It'll be awkward. 

People will treat you very differently when your appearance changes. Family, friends, loved ones, coworkers...EVERYONE.  You are invisible as a fatty.  People don't see YOU, they look past you.  They only see the fat.  Gradually, people will become nicer to you as you lose the weight.  At first, you will be very uncomfortable with this.  But you'll soon learn that you enjoy the extra attention.  It'll happen. I can promise you that.

Lastly, I would like to ask you for a promise, Fatty. 

It's a very important promise to your future skinny girl self:

Please always remember how you are feeling right now.

I know that you're tired all...the..damn...time.  You're sleeping your life away.

Then there's that back pain when you wake up in the morning.

Oh, and those painful and swollen ankles at the end of the day and the headaches from the high blood pressure.  Never forget how that pain feels. 

Can you make me that promise to never forget how it feels to be fat?  Pretty please with Splenda on top?

Thanks.

I'm counting on it.

Can You Handle the Truth?

Do you know Brenda over at Bandster Momma? 

She's been banded for about 6+ months and she's lost 110 lbs.  WOW.

Her post yesterday had me jumping up and down and shouting "AMEN SISTA!" in front of my laptop. 

Brenda understands that to be successful with this band, you have to do a lot of work.  I love her no-nonsense approach and she calls it like it is.

Go read her recent post about how the truth stinks.  Now.  Not later.  Now.  Seriously. Go.

Break Room Update

Here's a quick photo in follow up to my previous post entitled "Does Your Job Make You Fat?"

Here are the current offerings in the break room:  

• Chocolate covered graham crackers
• Chocolate truffles (various flavors)
• Gingerbread cookies
• Lemon shortbread cookies
• Chocolate covered Oreos

Sigh...

Do You Feel Like You Are Missing Out?

I've just had a weekend of fun.  And where there's fun, there's usually food.  Why is that?

At a party this weekend, an acquaintance mentioned casually to me as we were going 'round the potluck table full of food filling our plates, "Do you sometimes feel that you are missing out?"  She knows about my band and I guess that she noticed that my plate wasn't as full as all of the other party guests (or her own, to be specific).

Would someone make a similar comment to a Weight Watcher member or someone following the Atkins program or even Jenny Craig? Hmmm.

Was I missing out by only enjoying a few of the food choices?  This got me thinking. 

I did a quick google search and there's a lot out on the interwebs about a "Fear of Missing Out" or "FOMO."

Honestly, I very rarely feel like I am "missing out."  That's the beauty of the band, I can eat everything and usually a small taste is all I need.

If I felt like I was missing out on food opportunities, it would have made losing 115+ lbs a lot harder and it would make maintenance even more difficult.

I can think of plenty of examples from this weekend where people may think that I am "missing out", here are just two:

• Happy hour with my girlfriends where I had about three sips of a margarita and half a flauta.  Everyone else enjoyed full plates of tacos, beans, cheese, rice, guacamole, etc.
• A trip to the movies where the old me would have had a large Coke and an entire package of Red Vines licorice?  Nope, water was just fine and a few bites of popcorn.

But seriously, what am I really missing out on?

• An opportunity to fit back into my size 24W jeans? No way. 
• Going back to having borlderline high cholesterol? Nope.
• Barely being able to fit into an airplane seat?  No thanks.

So my question for you: do you feel like you are missing out, now that you are living a healthier lifestyle with good food choices?

Have You Had Complications With Your Lap Band?

It's one of my biggest fears:  losing my Lap Band.

I received an email the other day from Nicole who has lost 86 lbs and is about 10 months post-op.

In her email, she told me about how her band has eroded and she will soon have surgery to get it removed.

Here's part of that email (she said I could repost it here):

"...I’ve had my lapband since December and like you am in love with it. It was the best decision I have ever made. I’ve lost 86 lbs since December.

Today I found out that I have to have my band completely removed. The complication of erosion which happens in less than 2% of people is happening to me. I am devastated and scared to death to gain the weight back.

Have you had any such complication or know of anyone who has?

Thanks so much!"

Nicole is asking for advice from anyone who has had this complication or can provide any feedback.

Please stop by her blog and read the last two posts.  She could really use some BOOBs love and support.

Thanks!

Weigh-in Day and Butterflies

Goal Weight: 145 lbs

Today's Weight: 139.3 lbs

I'm sending a big thank you over to one of my favorite banded Canadians, Sandy Lee, who recently celebrated her 30th wedding anniversary.  She posted a beautiful response to my question about butterflies. It made me smile.

Happy Friday!

Are You Addicted To Losing Weight?

As a card-carrying member of the Scale Whore Society, there's something to be said about that rush that I used to get when I would stand on the scale for my official Friday weigh-ins. 

I would get to compare my prior week's weight with my current weight. 

It was kinda fun. 

It was something exciting to announce to you each week.

I could add new data to my spreadsheet and update my lovely ticker at the top of this page. 

I can still remember to this day how exciting it was to wake up on Christmas morning of 2009 (a Friday, of course) and see an official 40 pound loss.  Merry Christmas to me...right?

I think I was addicted to the idea of losing weight.  Maybe that's why I lost the weight so fast? I sometimes look back on my 115+ lb loss and ask myself how did I do that?

Do you watch "The Biggest Loser"?  I've been known to record that TV show and fast forward to the 15 minute segment where they show each contestant weighing in.  That's my favorite.  Sometimes I only watch that part.  I already know what they're doing do achieve that weight loss so there's no need to watch the rest of the show.  We all know that they are eating less and moving more while sneaking in shameless promotional plugs for ziploc bags or sugar-free gum.

During the weigh-ins, there are usually HUGE losses for the contestants to cry tears of joy over.  There are words of encouragement from their team members as they approach the scale.  Once the weight is revealed, everyone claps.  They cheer.  They jump up and down.  They hug.  They are congratulated by their trainers.  As you know, the contestants fate of how long they will remain on the show is often determined by their weigh-ins.  That's exciting.  That's life changing.

Fast forward to my Friday weigh-ins now at ten months into maintenance.  There is no spreadsheet to update.  The ticker barely moves.  There is no excitement.  I can assure you that my cat Pemberley does not jump up and down while giving me high-fives.  It's just a boring Friday weigh-in. 

I guess that's why there isn't a TV show called "The Biggest Maintainer".  I could really kick some ass as a contestant on a show like that.  Just sayin'.

See you tomorrow for the official Friday weigh-in...and just perhaps I will get down with my bad self doin' some scale happy dancin' of my own.

Two Years of Blogging

I started this blog exactly two years ago today.  You can read my first post HERE.

I can still remember how scared, excited, and nervous I was planning for my upcoming Lap Band surgery.

Two years of blogging is nothing to celebrate, but rather an opportunity for my own reflections of what has happened and where I am headed.

I originally began writing this blog to document everything and anything that happened relating to my band and my new lifestyle. It would be my little secret corner of the World Wide Web to talk about what was going down (hopefully the scale).

It became a place where I could document weights, blood test results, and make cute little spreadsheets for me to admire...where I could put down in black and white the good, the bad, and ugly. It hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows...there have definitely been some storms. As you know, I keep it real. Sugar coating isn’t always included with every post.  This has been a unique way to record my memories.

Then the blog eventually became a way for family and friends who were interested in staying up to date on me and to learn about what the band life is all about. It often surprises me to find out who reads this blog.  Recently, I received a Facebook message from a child that I used to babysit for over 15 years ago. I hadn’t seen her for five years and now as a young adult she was quoting my blog and asking if I’d PB’d yet. Seriously.

These past two years can be measured in milestones:

• Day of surgery
• No longer shopping for clothes in the plus size section
• Meeting my health goals of reduced cholesterol and body fat percent
• This list could go on and on.

Ultimately, this blog has become a place for accountability, especially with my Friday weigh-in posts.  It keeps me on track for most of the week with my food choices.

I’ve also made so many fabulous friends through blogging.  I mean that...amazingly good friends. I get so much support and learn so many things reading your blog posts.  We are all going through a lot of the same things and I love all the different perspectives and thoughts that we all bring up.

Who knew that this blog would be so much more than just a place to document things?

552 posts so far and counting...

I'm not going anywhere.

Do You Know Where Your Lats Are?

Yeah, me either.  Up until two days ago, I had no idea where mine were.  Seriously.

Turns out that your lats or "latissimus dorsi muscle" are along your back.  Who knew right?

Speaking of muscles, I still don't know where my deltoids are or pretty much any other muscles are located.

I should make a fancy spreadsheet or diagram so I can figure all this stuff out. 

You gotta remember that as the self-proclaimed indoor girl who never exercised...ummm...pretty much EVER....this exercise thing is a whole new mind-warp for me.  Muscles schmuscles.  Who wants to think about muscles when you can eat chocolate-chip cookie dough ice cream straight out of the container while watching Desperate Housewives? Yes please.

Anywhoozle, back to those lats.  I've noticed that in the past week or so my t-shirts that fit perfectly fine over the spring and summer are getting tighter across the chest and back area.  My first thought when I noticed this was: "damn, that dryer has shrunk my shirts." (nothing like a nice thick layer of denial, right?).  Then I thought "Uh oh, am I getting fat again?"  Yep, that one scary thought that is always in the back of every maintainers mind.  But the scale has remained the same lately and then it hit me. 

EXERCISE!

Yep, I've been doing more Jazzercise and less Zumba lately.  Therefore more weight lifting and strength building exercises.  Can you belive that I've been doing actual push-ups? and planks? and other crazy things that I never in a million years thought that I'd be doing?

I begin a four week series of "Pure Muscle" Jazzercise classes this week.  It's gonna kick my ass and I'm sure that I'll complain tell you all about what new muscles are hurting.  But as Island Bandit very wisely said to me in Chicago last week "I want to see what I can get my body to do now."  I guess it really is all about pushing myself to that next level of health and fitness.

And remember...bigger lats mean bigger hugs!

New Banded Blogger Alert!

I just received an email from a new soon-to-be banded blogger Rockband Barbie.

She really must like Barbie dolls.  I know that my favorite Barbie doll from when I was little was Travel Barbie.  That b*tch got to go everywhere!

Please stop by and say "hi."  She needs some BOOBs love and support as she is very early in her journey.

Thanks!

A Letter To My Lap Band

Dear Band,

Since I had you unfilled a smidge in early September, you've been M.I.A.  No biggie, just a little more work for me.  And do you know what?  I'm OK with that.

Thanks for letting me eat and drink everything that wasn't nailed down in Chicago.  It was fun.

What I don't understand is why you have all of a sudden decided to show up on the scene these last few days?  Hello restriction.

Yep, thanks for that semi-stuck feeling last night while I shoved a big piece of chocolate cake down my pie hole.  It was super awesome...oh and the heartburn that followed? Good times.  I needed that reminder that I ate way too fast.  But then you seemed to have no problem with the Frito's chips that I chose as a nice chaser to the cake.

Why are you sometimes so loose and then sometimes are right there, front and center ready to do your job?

If I were to give you a job performance review, I would give you a big fat ZERO for consistency.

What does a girl have to do around here for some dependable unchanging level of restriction?

Are you in kahoots with Island Bandit's band? It seems that her band is playing games too.


Is it the recent change in weather that causes your restriction level to change?


Perhaps my stress levels are up?


Or maybe it's because the planets are no longer aligned with the moons and stars?

I have an appointment to get you filled up a bit on Monday.  Will I cancel the appointment? I don't know.

But what I do know is that I would never trade you in or get rid of you.

Without you and a whole lot of hard work on my part, I know that I would have never been able to squeeze myself into those size seven skinny jeans this morning at Target...yep, and they even zipped up!

Would You Like to Take a Ride on the Scale Roller Coaster?

No? 

Well, let me tell ya...I've just stepped off of the roller coaster and whew! What a ride it's been.

I even made a little spreadsheet for your viewing pleasure. I have entitled it: "How to gain 6.4 lbs in four days" or "How to defeat this tool called the Lap Band"

Because I love some accountability in my life, I promptly stepped onto the scale the night that I got home from Chicago and I was UP 6.4 lbs. 

Yes, I pretty much ate my way through the city of Chicago.

Just to recap what went down in the food department (food porn to follow, you've been warned!):

There was a seafood extravaganza at Roys:

Red velvet cake at Grande Lux Cafe:

A peanut butter and jelly oink-fest at Pinkberry. Yum.

Oh and don't forget TWO meals of deep-dish pizza.  Here's the proof:

 Lastly, enough cocktails to turn me into this:

However, I've been very focused on my food choices and worked out twice this week so I have landed promptly back where I would like to be on the scale: 138.6 lbs. 

I guess this maintenance thing isn't so scary sometimes.

Oh No She Didn't!

Are you ready for a jaw-dropping story about the plane ride home from Chicago? 

I made a lovely new friend. *note sarcasm*

Here's how it went down:

We had been warned multiple times by the gate staff that the flight would be a completely full flight.  

So by the time we boarded the plane, I knew that we would all be snuggling up with each other as we were seated in our neat little rows.

I always reserve an aisle seat now ('cuz I drink tons of water and get up to visit the bathroom A LOT).  I sat down and said a quick hello to the 30-something blonde woman sitting at the window.  She smiled and said "hi".  

She points to the middle seat and says "I hope the middle person isn't fat."  I thought that she was joking initially, but when I looked at her I realized that she was serious. I looked away and didn't comment. 

She then said "oh, I hope that didn't sound bad."

Well, it did sound bad b*tch.  Really bad.  I didn't respond to her and ignored her.

No one would have EVER said something like that in front of me two years ago.

Thank You BOOBs!

There are so many things to tell you about the BOOBs weekend in Chicago.  Therefore, I have decided to do a photo montage. 

First of all, there was some peanut butter cookie eatin' in bed.  

You just can't start a vacation without some cookies:

Then there was a heated discussion about how the ideal bandster beverage 

is water, Crystal Light, Miralax, and Malibu Rum.  

Yeah, ummm...that's what may or may not be in that bottle that I'm spokes modeling:

 A memorable breakfast with a few of my newest favorite bandster buddies

(far left: Becky & second from right Shannon).  

Oh and don't forget the fabulous Stephanie and Julie too! 

Did you know that roommates who offer to bring me my Starbucks in 

bed in the morning are worth their weight in gold?

Here's my roomie Stephanie snugglin' under the covers.  

Time to get up and fetch me my Skinny Caramel Latte Steph...  

Seriously.  Go.  Now.  Mmmmkay?

You really can't trust other tourists to take centered photos:

Ridin' the Ferris wheel at Navy Pier.  Then we proceeded to get super nauseous on the swings that go 'round and 'round and 'round.  whew! Makes me sick just thinkin' about that.

 

 The silver blobby bean looking thing at Millennium Park which 

totally reminds me of the space ship from Flight of the Navigator movie.  Just sayin'

Non-scale victory alert! I heaved my ass up onto a cement wall that was about 5+ feet high.  

Yep. 

It happened.

Segways are sexy.  The end.

When was the last time you practiced your jazz hands?

The next time you're out and about (said in a Canadian accent), give those jazz hands a whirl.  

You won't regret it.

You haven't had pizza until you've had deep-dish Chicago pizza.  

YUM! I ate the whole thing.  Our little secret, OK?

What an BEAUTIFUL group of ladies!  Do you see Fluffy? She's there in the bottom left corner.

I would like to send a BIG THANK YOU to the lovely and talented organizers who planned our fun weekend.  Who knew that BOOBs 2.0 would be even better than BOOBs 1.0?!?  

Their amazing spreadsheet skills put me to shame.  Thanks ladies!

Heading Home From Chicago

I'm sitting at the gate at O'hare airport waiting for my flight home to Oregon.

I have so many thoughts and things to tell you about these past three days.

But you will have to wait until tomorrow for the full report.

So I will leave you with this quick photo:


Until tomorrow...


- Posted from my iPhone

Chicago BOOBs Pics!

Recognize any familiar faces?








More pics to follow!

- Posted from my iPhone