The Long Lost Chicago Shopping Story

"I like my money right where I can see it: hanging in my closet." ~Carrie Bradshaw; Sex and the City.

Let's talk about the shopping that occurred at BOOBs in Chicago.

Took me long enough to get around to this post, right?  Grab that cup of coffee a settle in.  This is going to be a long post.

Since I live in middle-of-nowhere podunk Oregon, I've become quite skilled at online shopping. 

But let me tell ya, a girl really can't get the full-on shopping retail therapy experience unless she tries the clothes on and then prances around and poses in the dressing room.

The prancing is important. That's how I can tell if a cute top or a sexy dress speaks to me. 

Wait, your clothes don't speak to you?  Ummm, yeah, me either.

By the way, you know those magical mirrors in the dressing rooms that seem to make one look ten pounds lighter?  I want one of those mirrors in my house.  I'm taking donations towards the cause....just sayin'.

Anyways, onwards to the fun and amazing shopping adventure that I had on that fateful breezy Monday morning in Chicago.  It seems like it was just yesterday...

I first stopped in at Forever 21 which was just around the corner from the hotel.

Yes, I do realize that their clothes are pretty much made out of paper and after a few washings they will disintegrate.  But they have cute stuff hangin' up in that store I wanted to check it out.

Unfortunately, there's nothing like trying on junior size clothes to make a gal feel like a fat cow.  I am a size X-LARGE at Forever 21.  Seriously. Sigh.  But I never forget to remind myself that I couldn't have ever shopped in junior sizes when I was a fatty.  I ended up buying a boring navy blue button-down sweater cardigan.  Yep. A work outfit staple.  Way to step out of my comfort zone, right?  NOT.

I then headed north on Michigan Ave.  My destination was the Water Tower Place Mall.

Eight levels of shopping extravaganza and enlightenment.  Supposedly, Oprah has an apartment in the building.  I should have texted her so we could grab a coffee and catch up.  But I forgot and honestly, I had exactly two hours to get all my shopping done before I had to meet my roomie, Stephanie, for our official last supper in Chicago (deep dish pizza of course).

I arrived at the mall right when it opened at 10am.  Where was everyone?  It seemed like a ghost town.  I walked into White House - Black Market.

The overly eager sales ladies greeted me immediately and asked what they could help me find.  I said I was just looking around.  Then the especially commission-focused sales lady who I nick-named in my head as "scary eyebrows" asked if I wanted to see their fall collection.

Ummm...sure?

In five minutes flat, Scary Eyebrows had me trapped in a dressing room trying on all kinds cute skirts and tops.  In the end, I bought...betcha can't guess....yep, a white sweater cardigan.  Uh oh, I just may be a one trick pony after all.

I then ventured into Victoria Secret.  Pretty much no man's land for me when I was a fatty.  I never ever was able to fit into ANYTHING in Vicky's when I was a fatty.

I always feel that when I now walk into a Vicky's that the sales ladies will give me one look and laugh because I must be in the wrong place.  But there were no laughs to be heard.

Here is your OFFICIAL WARNING:  Never walk into a Vicky's on a Monday morning at 10am.

They are eager.

The sales ladies will pretty much start measuring you and force you things to try on.

After trying on what seemed like every version of bra ever invented, the middle-aged sales lady somehow convinced me to try on this bra/thong combo:

Wow. Me likey.  At that exact moment when I looked at my reflection in the magical dressing room mirror, I knew it.

I knew that ALL of that hard work of counting calories/protein and exercising was abso-freaking-lutely worth it.

Of course the sales lady asked to see how it looked.  I slowly opened the curtain and stood there embarrassed.

She nodded approvingly with a smile on her face.  Then as if modesty wasn't a concern, she calls over TWO MORE of her sales lady cronies for them to get a look too. Or as she said it, for "training purposes." WTF.

I ended up buying way too much at Vicky's that day.  Damn those overly eager sales ladies.

But honestly, it was fun experience and validated all that hard work that I've done to get my body to look like it does.  It made me realize that, yes,  IT'S WORTH IT.