Do You Want to Hear About the Craziest Conversation Ever?!

You know that you do.  Admit it.

But first, yesterday (Wednesday) afternoon I got an unfill of .5 ccs.

Yep, took out more than last week's fill (.3 ccs).  That is why I pink puffy sparkly heart my nurse practitioner.  She trusts her patients to choose their fill and unfill amounts.  She also reads my blog before my fill appointments to get up to speed on what's up with me and my band.  Yep, she is an unofficial rockstar in my book.

That brings the fill level down to 7.3 ccs.

I am now on 72 hours (!) of full liquids to calm the stoma down. I'm looking forward to chewing something tasty on Saturday night.  Can't wait.

Onwards to the crazy conversation:

Since I am losing weight rather fast on full liquids I have been told to cut back on exercise for the next few days.  Wait, let me say that again: a medical professional told me to not exercise as much.  And get this....I was told to eat MORE calories.  Yep.  Welcome to my new normal.  I don't think that I have EVER had a conversation with a medical professional that recommended that I eat more and exercise less. And to stop losing weight. I'm still trying to wrap my head around that one.

PS: Weigh-in day tomorrow!

I Want To Go to the Dark Side...They Have Cookies

Warning: This is a rant chock full of negativity.  You'll probably want to skip reading this post.


I've always said that the band does about 20% of the job of helping with my healthy lifestyle. The other 80% is up to me and my choices.

Well, at this level of restriction the band is doing about 60% of the work. Yep, this band does do something after all.  And do you know what? I really want to take back that control of doing the work.

As I am typing this, I'm sitting here choking down my morning calcium chews.  They've always been my morning treat along with my coffee, followed by my B12 sublingual.  My little morning routine.  You know how much I puffy heart some routine and structure in my life. It's my happy place.  Unfortunately, with this fill, these calcium chews are not going down as smoothly as usual.  Not stuck, but just kinda sitting there.  Bleh.

The scale reported an all time low this morning of 135 lbs.  WTF.  I've been rocking the full liquids since Sunday to calm the situation down.  Damn it I want to chew something.  I want to eat real food. 

This fill level would be AWESOME if I was in my losing phase.  But unfortunately, with Aunt Flo just around the corner (over share alert!), this restriction will only get worse.  I've been drinking high calorie drinks.  I've become even more of a Starbucks groupie these past few days.  Gatorade and protein shakes are my new normal. 

I want to go sit on the couch in my PJs and eat an entire batch of freshly baked sugar cookies while watching crappy reality TV.  Oh, and a bucket of Mt. Dew would be nice too.

OK, I'm done now.

The end.

Careful What You Ask For

I believe that I may have arrived in the Red Zone folks and I don't like it.

Thank you for commenting on my stuck/PB post here on the blog and on Facebook.  Your tips on carrying a Ziploc baggie and/or napkins are appreciated. I'm officially in the PB club now I guess.

It is so weird that a fill for me can often take up to a week to kick-in.  Anyone else have this experience?

After my fill on Thursday afternoon, my restriction felt the same as before the fill.  Therefore, I partied like a rock star (a fat girl rock star to be specific) and ate my way through Friday and Saturday with visits to Taco Bell and Dairy Queen (Tsk! Tsk!).  Then the show-stopper was the vitamin stuck/PB on Saturday night.

Water, protein shakes and ice cream were slow going down on Sunday and Monday.

Therefore, as a result, I saw an all time low on the scale this morning: 136.4 lbs.  That's too low (a crazy thought!) as I would rather be in between 140lbs and 145lbs.

The purpose of the band for me is to eat less of any type of food that is offered or available.  I have never wanted to be limited with my food choices.  Unfortunately, that is where I have taken my band.  I chose to get a fill. 

I am going to see how things go this week with this fill level.  I am going to focus on de-stressing at work and taking my allergy pill which both help loosen things up.  If that doesn't work, I will go get that unfill.

Wish me luck!

It Finally Happened! The Dreaded Stuck & PB Event

I have read so many of your first PB (Productive Burp) and stuck stories over the past two years.  I've always wondered what you guys were talking about.  Now I know.

My first PB/stuck episode happened last night.

I guess there really is a Lap Band in there after all and I guess that fill on Thursday did the trick.

It only took 22+ months post-op.  Here's how it went down:

I was taking my usual nightly vitamins which includes one large gel cap Omega 3 vitamin.  Yep, one of these bad boys.

As soon as I swallowed it, I knew it.  Instantly.  It was stuck.

It wasn't going down and it just sat there lodged in my chest.  The knife in the chest kind of feeling.  Then my mouth started to fill with saliva...yep...the sliming had begun.  Where does all that spit come from?  Seriously.

Then I started pacing around the room and lifted my arms above my head thinking that this would help.  Nope, it didn't help.

Then my eyes began to water and I knew that I better run over to the kitchen sink quickly as the bad boy was coming back up.  So I leaned over the sink and up it came along with a bunch of water.  But not just out of my mouth but up and out of the nose.  That stings and hurt.

I continued to slime a little more leaning over the sink.  Good times.

Then it was over.  The whole event lasted about 4-5 minutes.

I can't imagine going through this in public, like at a restaurant or at work.  This makes me wonder, what do you guys do to prepare for this? Carry a Ziploc baggie in your purse? Become good at running to the bathroom?

My stoma still feels a little irritated this morning so I'm taking it easy with full liquids today.

New Banded Blogger Alert!

I received a lovely email from Mari who's a new blogger that is looking into getting a Lap Band.

She revealed in her email that she recently read my blog from beginning to end.  Whenever people tell me that I don't know if I should apologize or congratulate them on the accomplishment.  Over 500+ posts...  That's a lot reading and a lot of cat pics.

Anywhoozle, her blog is called The Tale of a Band Called Beyonce.  What a cute blog name!

I never named my band, have you named your band?

Please stop by Mari's blog and say hello.  Thanks!

Weigh-in Day...and the Results Are...

Goal Weight: 145 lbs

Today's Weight: 139.8 lbs

Happy Friday!

Exactly Two Years Ago Today...

I attended my surgeon's informational seminar on weight loss surgery.  Of course, their fancy name for this seminar is "Bariatric Symposium."  It's a really just a chance to hear about the different weight loss surgery options that a surgeon offers. 

I remember that night like it was yesterday.  It kinda went down something like this:

I arrived about 15 minutes early and checked in at the door.  I walked into the room full of people sitting and waiting for the seminar to begin.  I spotted my surgeon (Dr. Castillo) at the front of the room getting ready to do his talk.  I was so happy to see that he was the surgeon that was speaking that night because the practice has 4 (?) other surgeons.  I quickly walked up to him and introduced myself. 

I probably said something like this: "Hi! I'm ____ and I'm going to have gastric bypass surgery and you're the one I want to do it."  No need to beat around the bush, right?  I guess I can be a little too direct at times.  Is there a 12-step program or iPhone App for that?  Let me know.

I had already done my research and Dr. Castillo was the man for the job.  He's Jen and Chris' surgeon too.  We puffy heart him.  And while we're on the topic...he's kinda a hottie, right? In that nerdy/smart kinda way?  Just sayin'.

Anyways, I sat through the seminar while they used big scary words like rates of mortality, comorbidities, and diet.  Gasp!

Then, they passed around a few lap bands for everyone to hold and feel.  I didn't even look at the band and just passed it along to the fellow fatty sitting next to me....'cuz I was getting the gastric bypass.  Who knew that I would end up with one of those pieces of silicon inside my body.  Never say never people.

If you are looking into weight loss surgery and an in-person seminar is not how you roll, you have other options.

Perhaps you're worried that you'll run into a friend/coworker/acquaintance while you're at a seminar or maybe you're just a busy person.  Your solution? Most surgeons are now offering an online seminar that you can view at any time from the comfort of your own home.  My surgeon even offers this now.  Pretty cool, right?

PS: I'm doing the happy dance because I'm getting a fill today.  I'm not looking forward to the 24 hour full liquids after the fill...but that's all part of the game I guess. Oh! I almost forgot, I might also run into Sprinkles at the surgeon's office as her first post-op appointment is today.

Go, Go Gadget 'Copter!

Welcome to my mind warp of the day.  I've been thinking about this one for awhile.

My mind has FINALLY caught up with my current size and shape.  Yay!

It's only taken about a year for the catch up.  Sigh.

But I still feel like I am in disguise.  Like Inspector Gadget or something.  A fat girl in a skinny girl costume/disguise.

I now know and realize that that yes, I do look like this:

But I feel that the "true" me looks like this:

I think I am getting this disguise feeling because I am now meeting more people that never knew the fat me.  They only know the skinny me that I am now.

I'll give you an example:

We have a new employee in our department that I've been working with for a few weeks now and I've been getting to know her.  And do you know what? I have this urge to show her a fatty photo.  I want to explain to her that the person in front of her is NOT the true me.  The fatty in the photo is the real me.  I haven't actually shown her a fat photo 'cuz that would be kinda weird and unprofessional.  I doubt that I ever will.  But I want to.

It's like I want to explain away and/or justify my skinniness.  Welcome to Crazytown....population of 1.

Why do I still identify so much with the fatty? Perhaps because I was obese for most of my life?  Who knows.

But don't get me wrong, I LOVE my skinny girl disguise.  A healthy body that looks great? Yes please.

There you go, today's mind warp....in a nutshell.  The end.

P.S.: I wish my friend Amy was still around.  This is totally something that she would have had great perspective and advice for me as a WLS post-op who was in maintenance for over 5 years.  I miss you Amy.

BOOBs 2011 Fun Facts!

I see that this questionnaire is being passed around among the BOOBs attendees.  It's my turn!

How did you pick your blog name?

I originally wanted it to be Lap Band GIRL, but some chick was already using that blogspot name/address. Then I thought about Lap Band B*tch...but didn't want to be known as the potty mouth bandster, so I improvised and went with Gal.  Original, I know.  My creativity abounds.

When did you start blogging?

I started blogging under Lap Band Gal in October 2009, about a week prior to surgery.

Theme of blog (weight loss, family, circus clowns, sci-fi, erotica, fly fishing, doll collecting, star wars, etc)?

All about living with the Lap Band and now with some added perspective on weight maintenance.

Did you go to BOOBs 2010?

Absolutely! It was amazing to meet so many fun ladies who were going through similar issues and challenges with weight loss and the band. 

One of my most memorable moments from BOOBs 2010? A bunch of us were eating breakfast after the 5K and two fellow BOOBs had to excuse themselves to the ladies room to PB....and I kinda wanted to follow them in there to see what this PB issue is all about.  I've only seen one bandster PB (Thank you Amy, a truly great experience standing in front of Macy's in Union Square in San Francisco...a rather public performance...bravo!)

When were you banded?

October 20, 2009

How much have you lost?

115 lbs.

What are you most looking forward to at BOOBs?

I can't wait to reconnect with last year's attendees as well as meet all the new bandsters.  Also, I plan on some serious SHOPPING! I live in podunk middle of nowhere Oregon.  A girl can only do so much online shopping.

What/who do you hope to find/see/accomplish at BOOBs 2011?

Getting away for a long weekend away from podunk middle of nowhere Oregon.

Children? Pets?

1 cat named Pemberley.  As the saying goes, "If I wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I would put shoes on my cat."

Who is your roomie?

Stephanie from Electric Lady Band.  I can't wait to see Steph again! I last saw her in April when I was in Florida getting ready to go on a cruise.  We originally met at last year's BOOBs.

What day do you arrive?

Friday

What airport/flight/time?

2pm-ish at ORD...gonna ride the EL train to the hotel again like last time....and probably get lost again like last time.  Good times.

What events are you signed up for?

The Friday meet and greet, the Second City comedy show, Saturday dinner, and still thinking about whether I will participate in the Jazzercise class.

Hobbies?

Travel, travel, travel...wait...did I say travel? Oh, and cruising too.

Career?

Is this a yes or no question? Yes, i've got one...i think.

Single? Married? In a relationship?

Single and ready to mingle.

Your birthday month?

January (Capricorn)

What do you want other BOOBs to know about you?

I can be bribed with sugar cookies.  Yum.

Philadelphia Cooking Creme Product Review

I'm always looking for sauces to make my usual protein choice (3 oz. chicken breast) more interesting.

My latest fave??

Philadelphia Cooking Creme.  Yum.

So last night for dinner, I just mixed the following in a small bowl and microwaved on high for 30 seconds:

• 1/8 cup (32 g) cooking creme (Italian Cheese & Herb flavor)
• a splash of milk
• 3 oz. cooked/chopped chicken breast

Tastes like Pesto Alfredo sauce (without the pasta).

Calories: 195

Protein: 30 g

I can't wait to try the Santa Fe flavor next!