Weigh-Ins are on MONDAYS - Updated July 3, 2017

Surgery Date: October 20, 2009:

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Being a Cheap Date.

You can thank Amy W. for encouraging me to write this blog post.

As I inhaled  two , ummm....OK maybe three mini-cheesecakes at lunch one day in Phoenix, she convinced me that you would just LOVE to hear all about my dating life.

As you know, almost nothing is off limits on this blog.

I've kept it real.

Since October 2009.

But I don't blog about my dating life because I feel that it isn't fair to the men that I date to expose all the juicy details to the world.

And after all, a true lady doesn't kiss and tell.

But here are two very common questions that I've received repeatedly from readers via email:

1. When do I tell my date about my Lap-Band?

For me, I am very open about my band.

Wanna pet my port? Seriously. I'll let ya.

No biggie for me.

However, I have learned that when I tell a man that I have a band is VERY dependent on the man I am dating.

It also depends if the general topic of weight loss and if it comes up in the conversation.

The Lap-Band is a medical issue.

Therefore, I can totally understand why some bandsters wouldn't want to share this with others.

To each their own.

The usual response when I tell a date that I have a band? They say: "What's that?"

Honestly, from what I can tell, most men could really care less about the band.

When I do reveal my bandster status, I don't dwell on the topic of the band and move the conversation along to something else.

Tip: do not, I repeat, DO NOT whip out those "before" photos unless specifically asked.

2. What if he chooses a restaurant where they don't have band-friendly food choices?

I love the concept of getting coffee, especially on the first date.

Damn, I've drunk (drank?) my fair share of Skinny Vanilla Lattes at Starbucks on many a coffee date. Liquids go right down (as they should). No problemo. Especially if nerves and stress are high, coffee is the bomb.com.

If a meal is on the agenda for the date, my go to food choice: Mexican food.  Mexican (beans/cheese/shredded chicken) is a very band friendly food for me. I just have to steer clear of those evil chips and salsa. Yum.

You know what works for you and your band.

If I am asked where I would like to eat, I always give my opinion.

I would NEVER choose pasta or pizza, just too risky.

If I do end up at a non-band friendly type of restaurant, I look for the soup on the menu. Soup is always a winner in my book.

I actually prefer to go on active type of dates instead of getting a meal: hiking is always a great and I can sneak in some exercise too.  Roller skating is pretty bad ass too.

3.  Lastly, my two cents: 

Here's what really gets my knickers in a twist:

The men who are completely hung up and turned off by the idea that I used to be fat.  I've learned that they have this fear that I will one day be fat again.

Like I don't have that fear of being fat again already swirling around in my head and then to have someone remind me of that?

Those ass-hats are kicked to the curb faster than you can say, "don't let the door hit you on the way out."


  1. LOVE this post. Great tips for daters but also for getting to know new friends as far as where to eat/how to hang out.

  2. Great post! I'm single and dating, too - it is interesting how men can be freaked about the idea that you used to be fat. My last boyfriend was, and I let it play into my own head games and self-esteem issues wrapped up in my weight. (It was okay for him to not like my body because I do not like my body, either, etc.)

    Now on the outside of it, I can see how dumb that was. Rookie dating mistake. My current boyfriend is nothing like that at all. My favorite example is that I had a tummy tuck last fall: I asked him if the scars bother him. "Why would they bother ME?" he asked. "Do they hurt?"

  3. Amen - I hated dating. Ugh!

  4. I'm single and just got my band... I have to admit the thought of dating is pretty unnerving right now... I can't imagine going out for a meal with someone I don't know well. Thank you for the perspective!

  5. I agree that any asshat who gets hung up on the idea that you used to be fat deserves to be kicked to the curb, and the sooner the better! The active date is a great idea because it's easier to be comfortable and have a little fun than when you are just stuck across a table from each other.

  6. See now! This is a great post!You didnt even have to be man specific or give any juicy details.

  7. I love how you like your date to be something other than food...I am so trying to rule out food as a social aspect in my life and make being social about something else..a quick drink, a hike, a play...anything but my addiction!

  8. I still want juicy details...but nice post anyway. ;-)

  9. Great post, but I'm with Stephanie...I still want the juicy dating details. The pic with the necklace from yesterday is really killer. Good choice for your profile pic.

  10. I love this! I also love Connie O and her "asshat." I have dated a few men who start to obsess about if I am getting all of my exercise in, what I am eating etc. If they know that I used to be fat.

    I learned early on and quick to kick their asses to the curb. I don't need any negative comments in that area. None.

    Great post!

  11. I love this! And I'm right there with you re: the skinny vanilla latte's. unfortunately I had too many first dates with those babies!

  12. I'm on the juicy details bandwagon. :) Still, I loved this post!!!

  13. Great advice! Great post as usual!

  14. Good for you! Great Approach.

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