Go, Go Gadget 'Copter!

Welcome to my mind warp of the day.  I've been thinking about this one for awhile.

My mind has FINALLY caught up with my current size and shape.  Yay!

It's only taken about a year for the catch up.  Sigh.

But I still feel like I am in disguise.  Like Inspector Gadget or something.  A fat girl in a skinny girl costume/disguise.

I now know and realize that that yes, I do look like this:

But I feel that the "true" me looks like this:

I think I am getting this disguise feeling because I am now meeting more people that never knew the fat me.  They only know the skinny me that I am now.

I'll give you an example:

We have a new employee in our department that I've been working with for a few weeks now and I've been getting to know her.  And do you know what? I have this urge to show her a fatty photo.  I want to explain to her that the person in front of her is NOT the true me.  The fatty in the photo is the real me.  I haven't actually shown her a fat photo 'cuz that would be kinda weird and unprofessional.  I doubt that I ever will.  But I want to.

It's like I want to explain away and/or justify my skinniness.  Welcome to Crazytown....population of 1.

Why do I still identify so much with the fatty? Perhaps because I was obese for most of my life?  Who knows.

But don't get me wrong, I LOVE my skinny girl disguise.  A healthy body that looks great? Yes please.

There you go, today's mind warp....in a nutshell.  The end.

P.S.: I wish my friend Amy was still around.  This is totally something that she would have had great perspective and advice for me as a WLS post-op who was in maintenance for over 5 years.  I miss you Amy.

BOOBs 2011 Fun Facts!

I see that this questionnaire is being passed around among the BOOBs attendees.  It's my turn!

How did you pick your blog name?

I originally wanted it to be Lap Band GIRL, but some chick was already using that blogspot name/address. Then I thought about Lap Band B*tch...but didn't want to be known as the potty mouth bandster, so I improvised and went with Gal.  Original, I know.  My creativity abounds.

When did you start blogging?

I started blogging under Lap Band Gal in October 2009, about a week prior to surgery.

Theme of blog (weight loss, family, circus clowns, sci-fi, erotica, fly fishing, doll collecting, star wars, etc)?

All about living with the Lap Band and now with some added perspective on weight maintenance.

Did you go to BOOBs 2010?

Absolutely! It was amazing to meet so many fun ladies who were going through similar issues and challenges with weight loss and the band. 

One of my most memorable moments from BOOBs 2010? A bunch of us were eating breakfast after the 5K and two fellow BOOBs had to excuse themselves to the ladies room to PB....and I kinda wanted to follow them in there to see what this PB issue is all about.  I've only seen one bandster PB (Thank you Amy, a truly great experience standing in front of Macy's in Union Square in San Francisco...a rather public performance...bravo!)

When were you banded?

October 20, 2009

How much have you lost?

115 lbs.

What are you most looking forward to at BOOBs?

I can't wait to reconnect with last year's attendees as well as meet all the new bandsters.  Also, I plan on some serious SHOPPING! I live in podunk middle of nowhere Oregon.  A girl can only do so much online shopping.

What/who do you hope to find/see/accomplish at BOOBs 2011?

Getting away for a long weekend away from podunk middle of nowhere Oregon.

Children? Pets?

1 cat named Pemberley.  As the saying goes, "If I wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I would put shoes on my cat."

Who is your roomie?

Stephanie from Electric Lady Band.  I can't wait to see Steph again! I last saw her in April when I was in Florida getting ready to go on a cruise.  We originally met at last year's BOOBs.

What day do you arrive?

Friday

What airport/flight/time?

2pm-ish at ORD...gonna ride the EL train to the hotel again like last time....and probably get lost again like last time.  Good times.

What events are you signed up for?

The Friday meet and greet, the Second City comedy show, Saturday dinner, and still thinking about whether I will participate in the Jazzercise class.

Hobbies?

Travel, travel, travel...wait...did I say travel? Oh, and cruising too.

Career?

Is this a yes or no question? Yes, i've got one...i think.

Single? Married? In a relationship?

Single and ready to mingle.

Your birthday month?

January (Capricorn)

What do you want other BOOBs to know about you?

I can be bribed with sugar cookies.  Yum.

Philadelphia Cooking Creme Product Review

I'm always looking for sauces to make my usual protein choice (3 oz. chicken breast) more interesting.

My latest fave??

Philadelphia Cooking Creme.  Yum.

So last night for dinner, I just mixed the following in a small bowl and microwaved on high for 30 seconds:

• 1/8 cup (32 g) cooking creme (Italian Cheese & Herb flavor)
• a splash of milk
• 3 oz. cooked/chopped chicken breast

Tastes like Pesto Alfredo sauce (without the pasta).

Calories: 195

Protein: 30 g

I can't wait to try the Santa Fe flavor next!

Big Sexy!

TLC has a new show starting tomorrow night called "Big Sexy."

Here's the show's description from their website/Facebook: 

Description:

TLC is introducing a special, three-part series called Big Sexy. Big Sexy focuses on the plus-size world, following around five fabulous ladies in NYC and offering an inside look at their lives.

Plot Outline:

“Each episode will feature the women as they attend major industry events, parties and opportunities, all while giving a candid peek into the balancing of their personal, dating and family relationships as plus-size women. They are big, they are beautiful, and they are not sitting at home waiting for life to happen. They know better than anyone that real women can be sexy with curves — no matter what society says.

I totally agree that all ladies should feel confident and beautiful no matter their size or shape.  But I just can't help wondering...will they show the negative health effects of being a plus sized gal?  I doubt it.

So go set your DVR.  

I can't wait to see it.

New Banded Bloggers Alert!

Please stop by and say hello to these newbie bloggers.  They could use some BOOBs love and support:

Brooke gets Banded.  She is having surgery next week!

Lucky Lucy.  She is having surgery on September 8th!

Here's today's funny:

Weigh-in Day...and a Fatty Pic!

Goal Weight: 145 lbs

Today's Weight: 140.0 lbs

Here's the fatty pic that I promised.  It was taken back in 2008 in Egypt.

Most people buy cute souvenirs and collectibles when they travel abroad... but not me, I bought a burqa.  I swear that's me under there.

Happy Friday!

Let Me Tell You a Little Story About a Man Named Twinkie

I had a major fail on my eating choices yesterday.  Here's the list of what I ate...just keepin' it real:

• Breakfast: Peanut Butter & Jelly on toast w/ a glass of milk
• Lunch: Sugar cookie with a melted chocolate truffle baked on top
• Bag of Goldfish crackers
• Snack: Vanilla Bean Frappaccino
• Dinner: Carnitas Tostada with chips washed down with a Strawberry Daiquiri
• Dessert: Frozen Yogurt sundae with Peanut Butter Cups and Chocolate Fudge

And wouldn't you know it as I am waddling out of the Fro Yo shop last night with some serious tummy pain, I hear this comment come out of nowhere "I like your blog."

I turn around and see a cute young family sitting at an outside table.  I say "huh?" (classy, right?)

The man (whom I will call "Twinkie") at the table repeats himself and says "I like your blog."

I say:  "Uumm...thanks? how do you know my blog?" and it turns out Twinkie knows my blog through my surgeon's office.  I forgot I was in their newsletter last month...or maybe it was from a past support group meeting? I can't remember.  He was very complimentary of the blog and my weight loss journey which was good to hear.

However, I must have had the most guilty look on my face as I pretty much felt like the biggest hypocrite that's ever walked the face of the Earth after the fabulous day of eating I had.

Anywhoozle, it turns out that Twinkie is getting his band in October.  Go Twinkie!  I hope to see you at next month's support group!

PS: I have a fill scheduled for next week.  I ran into my surgeon's nurse practioner today (Hi Reeger!) and she may be able to fit me in sooner.  The fingers are crossed!

Do You Have Arm Dangles?

I do.

There seems to be a lot of endearing names floating around among the weight loss blogs for the upper arms: Bat Wings, "The Flaps", etc.

I call mine arm dangles.  'Cuz they just hang there and dangle about in the breeze.

I've recently realized that I am now OK with my arm dangles.  Shocking! I know! When did this happen?

When they first emerged as the fat melted away, they really bugged me.  I tried to hide them with long sleeve tops.  Now, I just let the dangles flap around in all their stretch-marked glory.  It's like I'm about to take flight in Zumba class with these wings.  But really, who cares....seriously.  I doubt that I will ever pursue plastic surgery for them.  One surgery is enough for one lifetime...thankyouverymuch.

On the other hand, I am now having concerns about the inner thighs.  Oh...my.  Elephant skin.  Sigh.  Now that's a situation.   And I'm not talking about Snooki's boyfriend.  Heaven forbid I workout in shorts...that will never happen.

Why is it that once I become OK with one body part, another one emerges and I get all self-conscious?

It's like I'm playing "Self-Esteem Whack-A-Mole."  Just when I think that I've conquered one body part/appearance related issue, another one pops up?

Don't get me wrong, the health benefits from my weight loss completely outweigh any of these excess skin issues.  And to be honest, if my former fatty self was listening to a skinny b*tch like me talking about skin issues, I would roll my eyes and tell her to appreciate her new healthy body.  So feel free to roll your eyes at me.

But do you experience the Self-Esteem Whack-A-Mole issues too? Tell me about it.

There Was a Little Girl

by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

There was a little girl,

Who had a little curl,

Right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good,

She was very, very good,

But when she was bad she was horrid.

Kindergarten, 1984

I remember my Mom saying this poem to me as long as I can remember.  Originally a cute little poem to say occasionally after my bedtime stories and then jokingly when I was a badly behaved teenager.


I know this poem by heart because I've heard it so many times.  


And do you know what? I always thought that it was just a reference about my curly hair.  I never really put two and two together that the poem is a completely accurate poem about who I am and how I think.  I guess my Mom knew what she was talking about. (Hi Mom!)


Example?


When I am good with my food choices, I am REALLY good.  Practically perfect in every way. (oh wait, that's Mary Poppins).  But you know what I mean.


When I am bad with my food choices, I am REALLY horrid.  I don't just step of the band wagon for a quick naughty bite of something.  I fling myself off the wagon so far that I I get stuck in the land of pizza, cookies, and ice cream.  It takes days, sometimes a week to undo all that I did and for the scale to show a good weight.


I'm still looking for some balance in the land of weight maintenance.  I need to get away from this "all or nothing" thinking.  Something to work on.


Or maybe I just need to find a good hair straightening iron?  Just sayin'.

Zip It. Zip It Good. Pics & Video!

As I reported on the Lap Band Gal Facebook page on Saturday, I stepped out of my comfort zone and went zip lining...in the outdoors...as in nature...with bugs and dirt.  And do you know what? It was SO FUN!

The first thing that happened before we even loaded into the van, was to step up onto the scale and get weighed in.  And do you know what? I had no hesitation jump up onto that scale.  I don't even know what the weight limit was.  Here's the scale graciously laid out in the parking lot for a what I thought was a very public weigh-in.  No biggie for me though.

Sexy helmets and body harnesses.  Good times.

Gettin' ready to zip!

Zip on!